Take Me

Take, O take me as I am
Summon out what I shall be
Set Your seal upon my heart
And live in me.

I watched and listened intently as my daughter and her fellow first Holy Communicants sang this song to the delight of everyone in church.  I was one proud dad - my daughter has received the Body of Christ for the first time on that sunny 14th day of May!

My mind brought me back to early December last year, when we parents met in school with Fr Gerry Murphy (our parish priest at that time), Ms Reilly (head teacher), and teachers to prepare for our children's first Holy Communion. An Enrolment Mass was held at the Infant of Prague Church (where the first Holy Communion Mass will be held) on 21 January 2017 to formally present the children to the parish. This was followed by a series of meetings once a month from February to May.

Children were also provided with two books: "Love and Forgiven" which focused on the celebration of their first Sacrament of Reconciliation and "Meet Christ with Joy" which focused on the celebration of their first Holy Communion. We were encouraged to guide our children in completing these books.  For Nidz and I, it felt like going back 30 odd years ago when we made our first Holy Communion.  While I helped Chiara with the text that needs to go into these books, Nidz assisted with the pictures and drawings. Teachers regularly monitor children's progress.

Apart from these, we were also invited to become involved in the Vigil Masses in church from January to May.  Parents took turns in facilitating a "Children's Liturgy" wherein the candidates for first Holy Communion have their own celebration in the sacristy. Part of this celebration is to read the Gospel, make a brief reflection on what was read, and do an activity related to the reflection. (The "Children's Liturgy" runs parallel to the Liturgy of the Word.) After the "Children's Liturgy", the children go back to the sanctuary to present their work. Nidz and I facilitated two liturgies. In one of those, we taught the children to sing "Let it shine" which was met with a round of applause from the congregation.

Fast forward now. Nidz and I sat next to each other, happy to see our daughter reaching another milestone in her journey of faith. We were blessed to have my father Mario and youngest sister Kristina coming from New York to also witness Chiara's special day. 

After the Mass, lots of clicking sounds could be heard from cameras and mobile phones as first Holy Communicants and their families posed for photo opportunities in or near the sanctuary. Later on, we made our way to the Our Lady of Perpetual Succour Community Centre for a sumptuous meal of Filipino dishes, a joint effort we shared with three other Filipino families. But before that, we were asked to see the Poor Clare sisters. In the monastery, Chiara, Mia, Reyna, and Megan made a repeat performance of their song. The sisters were elated!

During the reception, guests gave short messages to the first Holy Communicants. Papa gave an impromptu speech. Chiara later thanked everyone in behalf of her friends.

If there is one word that sums up this first Holy Communion celebration, it is take. Our children take the Lord's Body and eat it. We parents, as well as other members of the family, the parish, the school, etc. take once again that calling to nurture our children's faith.  Above all, the Lord Himself takes these children - takes us all actually - in spite of our imperfections so that we may have life to the full (John 10:10).

To Chiara and her fellow first Holy Communicants, congratulations. Jesus takes your hearts and has found a new home in them. Make Him feel welcome so that He would live there at all times.

Led by the Children

(Some of the children who received their first Reconciliation [L-R]: Chiara, Megan, Reyna, and Mia)

A few weeks back, I was in church along with Chiara to join in their school's celebration of the Sacrament of Reconciliation. Chiara and other students/children parishioners will be receiving their first Holy Communion in May and so the parish and school organised this event where the children would make their first confession.  

During the meeting in preparation for this activity, the parish priest told us that we could accompany our children while they make their confession. Of course this was something new, not only for me but for other parents. In a way, it felt awkward.  On the day, the children were given the option of just being alone with the priest or being with their parents in front of the priest (Confession was face-to-face!).  If I am not mistaken, all children went to the priest on their own. When all kids were finished, the headteacher encouraged parents to avail of the sacrament.

Watching my child confidently approach the priest and make her first confession, I felt called to make my own confession. I approached Fr Anthony, the same priest who heard Chiara's confession.  As I sat next to him, he chuckled "I guess this is not your first confession." We both laughed briefly. After confessing to him, he asked me what is my favourite Bible verses. I told him "The Lord is my shepherd, there is nothing I shall want". He  told me to take time to read and reflect on that. He also reminded me how God doesn't get tired of forgiving us.

Most of the time, we parents take the driver's seat. And yet, there are moments when we give that seat to someone else for them to take the lead. It happened on that memorable day in church when the children made me realize that God is our merciful Father who eagerly awaits our return. Sometimes, we adults tend to make excuses when it comes to going to confession. Excuses such as "The priest is only a human being like us. I can confess directly to God, can't I?"or "I am not prepared." come to mind.  For me, let's have an open mind about this sacrament. Christ instituted this for us, so why not accept it? Think of that thief dying on the cross. Surely he wasn't prepared for that encounter with Jesus. Touched by Christ's presence, he begged for forgiveness.  And forgiveness was granted him! Wouldn't Christ, through his priests, forgive us too when we receive this sacrament?

I hope and pray that these children will value their relationship with God and that they remain simple and humble so that they would continuously avail of this often forgotten sacrament; so that they would lead others to do the same.

I felt blessed to be in Chiara's first Reconciliation. I didn't only witness my daughter receiving God's forgiveness. She inspired me to receive it as well - a perfect opportunity this Lent! 

Public Property

Who says that only politicians and showbiz personalities are public properties? I like to think that parents too are public properties.  It becomes evident when our kids (or grand kids, if you have one) pick up what they see us say or do. 

Being fond of classical and traditional Filipino music, I would listen to either of these while driving or at home.  Chiara, who would often hear these, has shown some interest too. I once watched on YouTube Nyoy Volante impersonating Sylvia La Torre in “Your Face Sounds Familiar”, a contest organised by ABS-CBN. Nyoy was singing “Sa Kabukiran” to the glee of my unica hija. She was more delighted when she listened to Sylvia’s own rendition of that famous song (and more).

There is a feeling of satisfaction when she picks up something positive. Conversely, there is disappointment when it’s something negative that she imitates.

One wintry evening, as I was about to fetch Nidz from work, our old car won’t start. Annoyed, I swore three times. Suddenly, Chiara repeated what I said. I felt remorseful after that event. Ditto those moments such as when she asked me  while I was parking somewhere , “Daddy what is that?” and I could not respond because the sign says “No parking”.  I recall what Tita Lilia Reyes would often say “Ipakita mo na sa matanda, huwag lang sa bata”. 

Because our kids ‘own’ us, it comes as a daily challenge to be their role model, to nurture them in a responsible and Christian way. Gone are the days of buhay binata.  These are the times of sharing, of putting the house in order.

I have been involved lately  in a project collecting 100 anecdotes in honor of my Lola Piling  Valdes-Albano whose 100^th birth anniversary is celebrated this year. A few anecdotes that I came across mentioned the Sacred Heart of Jesus to whom Lola was devoted to. She once advised the Apostleship of Prayer members in Gagalangin to say “Sacred Heart of Jesus, I place all my trust in Thee” 33 times (in honor of the number of years the Lord stayed on earth). As the project is due to conclude tomorrow, I felt a rediscovery of this devotion particularly that beautiful prayer. Entrusting everything – my vocation, family, work, etc. – to the Lord’s Sacred Heart is key to become a nurturing father, a good role model.  

To all fathers out there, here’s wishing us all a Happy Father’s Day this Sunday!  May our hearts be like that of Jesus so that our children and others who look up to us may find life and have it to the full (cf. John 10:10).

***

As I write this, I cannot fail to remember Lolo Paul Albano, whose 104^th birth anniversary is commemorated today. One afternoon, many summers ago, as I was playing in their bedroom, I saw him apply something like a roll-on stick on his hair and combed it.  When he left I mimicked my grandfather, however I struggled to comb my hair as smoothly as he did his! The maid has to wash my hair to get rid of Lolo’s pomade! The sticky pomade is all gone, but my Lolo’s memory, his religiosity, devotion to family and service to the community continue to thrive in my veins. Thank you, Lolo Paul! Happy birthday po!

The Cold Won't Bother Me Anyway

"Put on your socks! It's cold." I told Chiara as she was playing in the living room.

"It doesn't matter", she replied.

I am sometimes puzzled that my daughter doesn't easily feel cold when her Mom and I would have wanted to bury ourselves under sheets this winter. One time, I told her again to keep herself warm. And again, she gave the same response. I retorted, "Why? 'The cold won't bother me anyway'? It made her laugh as she realized that I quoted Queen Elsa's last lines in the song "Let it go".

I saw the same behavior in our countrymen who braved the rain and all just to be with Pope Francis during his Pastoral and State Visit to the Philippines last week.  I must admit that I wasn't able to focus that much on the Holy Father's visit, but from what I gather his trip was heart warming.  

For his part, Lolo Kiko, as he was fondly called in the Philippines, reached out to them.   His words "Some of you lost part of your families. All I can do is keep silent. And I walk with you all with my silent heart." cuts through the heart. St Francis of Assisi once said “Preach the Gospel at all times, and when necessary, use words". Papa did preach, but it was a moment when words won't be necessary or would suffice. His mere presence with the people per se was the preaching! 

Moving on, the Philippine Church has asked believers 10 things to do:

Our country,in spite of many catastrophes (man-made or not) it faced and continue to face, has shown its openness and resiliency during those blessed days with the Pope. Let's take to heart his message. Let's proclaim it wherever and whenever. As he once said: "We have a Lord who is capable of crying with us, capable of walking with us in the most difficult moments of life". 

With Jesus by our side, the cold - of sin and evil, of uncaring people, etc.- won't bother us anyway!

PS: There's two things that disconcerted me though about the recent visit. First is that there were three pope mobiles used instead of just one. Second is that children are caged to keep the streets clean during the visit. The first runs counter to His Holiness' simplicity while the second not only opposes the Pope's preference for the poor, but also prevented him from reaching to them!

Something is Going to Happen

Salve, Regina, Mater misericordiæ,vita, dulcedo, et spes nostra, salve.

These are the first lines of a popular Marian song sung at many churches in the Philippines in May. The first time I heard the Salve Regina,  I was a little kid attending Mass at the St Rita Hospital Chapel many summers ago. It was the closing song sung by my late grandparents during May.  While they are making a duet, some attendees would place flowers on the altar table for the Blessed Virgin. 

Since then, every time I hear this song, I have a feeling that something is going to happen. For example, in Gagalangin church (as well as other churches for sure), once the Salve is intoned by the priest, the statue of Mary is incensed. This is followed later by sprinkling holy water to all devotees present.

During our visit to relatives in Staten Island, New York in 2012, my uncles and aunts asked me to say "Grace before Meals". I agreed. For some reason, after the prayer I intoned the Salve. I thought I would be doing a solo, but lo and behold, others gathered especially my uncles sang! Nidz told me that even Chiara was singing. (See, something has happened!) I imagine how our forebears would have smiled at the sight!

When Chiara was still 2-3 years old, I once sang this song to her.  She kept on looking at me and then when I finished she said "Ang galing!" (Excellent). Now, she could sing it on her own! Part of our night prayers for quite some time now is singing this beautiful song. One time my daughter was too tired so I told her just to close her eyes while I sing. I thought of doing this because the Salve is like a goodnight kiss to Mama Mary. As we entrust ourselves (when we were kids) to our earthly mothers as we go to bed, so now we confide ourselves to our heavenly mother. Before you know it, something has happened - another day has dawned. Our mission continues! 

I have always believed that the Blessed Mother has been praying for me, her unworthy son, through and through.  In the many ups and downs of life, I have sought her maternal care and protection and I have never been turned down.

I'm turning 40 on the 20th.  As I look back at those many years - of fruits coupled with thorns, triumphs hand in hand with failures, light constantly challenged by darkness, friends mixed with foes -  I believe that God has plans for me, that something in His own time and fashion is going to happen. Like Mary and her husband Joseph, may I have a heart which is open, humble, thankful, and trustful.

Ora pro nobis, sancta Dei Genitrix. Ut digni efficiamur promissionibus Christi. 

(Pray for us O Holy Mother of God. That we may be made worthy of the promises of Christ.)

A Sunday with the Pope

Being in Rome, for me, would be incomplete without seeing the Pope.  During our first trip to the Eternal City, we didn't get that chance to see Pope Benedict XVI - we arrived a day after the general audience and then we heard that he was on a pastoral visit in another part of Italy.  

The papacy has been an important part of our Christian faith.  It traces its roots from St Peter the Apostle who was chosen to lead His Church.  Because of his role as our spiritual leader, we Catholics fondly call the Pope as Holy Father.  

February 23, a day after the Consistory.  I woke up at 5:30am. After having a light breakfast, we made our way to St Peter's Basilica.  We met  some aunts and a lone uncle from the Valdes Family along the way. Tia Dulce Valdes-Barangan and I were teasing each other for we came early this time! There was already a queue at the piazza. My uncle and godfather Noel Valdes looked for some relatives who may already be lining up. Chiara went with him.  Just a few minutes and he was waving his hand to us.  People were in a huddle as we all waited for the doors of the church to be open.  Chiara was enjoying her time with her great uncles, great aunts, and other relatives.  Nidz, Jackie, and I were next to another uncle (and godfather) Paulino "Sonny" Albano, Papa's oldest brother, the patriarch of the Valdes-Albano clan.  Ninong Sonny was recalling stories of how he heard about Tito Orly's appointment as a cardinal.  I asked him how we became related with the Cardinal as I thought it was through the Beltran side (Cardinal Quevedo's middle name is Beltran; the same surname as my great great grandmother's when she was still single). My uncle explained that it was through the Edralin-Estavillo side; his grandmother (Hilaria Estavillo-Albano) and the Cardinal's grandmother were cousins.

Men smartly dressed approached all those in the queue to remind them of their tickets.  Some of the guests such as Ninong Sonny and his wife Ninang Noemi had special tickets. They were asked to follow the men as they have reserved seats in the basilica. 

The church doors were now open. People slowly made their way passing through security checks. As we entered the basilica, I was pointing Chiara to some statues and pictures.  Ushers were distributing Mass booklets for all churchgoers.  We chose seats near the aisle to have a good view of the Pope. We were quite near the statue of St Camillus de Lellis, patron saint of Nurses. (Just a few days before this occasion, we visited his mortal remains at the Church of St Mary Magdalene situated near the Pantheon.) Filipinos from Cotabato, Tito Orly's archdiocese, sat next to us. For some reason, I didn't see Papa, my sisters Nicola and Kristina, and some other relatives from where we were. I later managed to see my 2 sisters who were sat near to us.

Cardinals and bishops started to arrive. Tito Orly approached a few of us before making his way to the sacristy. In preparation for the Mass, the Rosary was recited. Each mystery was announced in Italian, English, Spanish, and French. The prayers though were in Latin.  Afterwards, the choir led in singing the Salve Regina.  Chiara, with a prodding from her mom, joined in the singing - this caught the attention of my aunt Ching Valdes-Aran and an Italian woman who were both sat in front of us.  Towards the last few lines of the song, I suddenly remembered Lolo Paul, Lola Piling, and Mommy Rosie - all three taught me how to sing this song. I couldn't sing any more.  I just felt my eyes wet.

Mass followed immediately.  I held my breath as well as Nidz's mobile phone while waiting for Pope Francis walk along the aisle. Altar servers, cardinal-concelebrants, and finally the Holy Father.  Pope Francis came across as a simple man. His green vestments and miter were not as ornate as his predecessor's. These simple apparel were matched by the papal ferula - a silver cross used by Pope Paul VI. As he walked past us, I made the sign of the cross. I felt blessed! 

On the right hand side of the basilica, I could see the statue of St Peter sat on a chair. One of the feet of this statue is worn out because of the many pilgrims touching it. During the Consistory, the statue was dressed like a medieval pope with a tiara and cape.  Personally, I would prefer an undressed statue.  First of all, St Peter would not have dressed like that. Second, let's keep things consistent with Pope Francis' simplicity.

The Mass was in Latin, but the booklet has provided English and Italian translations. (I wish though that the Mass was said in Italian. Ditto the Rosary. Italian, unlike Latin, is a living language.) Some readings and prayers were in other languages. The verses of the Psalm were in English. One of the prayers in the Prayer of the Faithful was in Filipino!  The Pope, having only 1 lung, recited all the presidential prayers.  In spite of that, his homily - although in Italian - was full of power. He spoke about the Holy Spirit, underscoring our calling to listen to Him "...who enlivens the Church".  He also mentioned the importance of holiness in the ministry of a cardinal. Furthermore, he reminded that cardinals enter the Church of Rome and not a royal court. To illustrate his point, he enjoined all cardinals to "...avoid, and help others to avoid, habits and ways of acting typical of a court: intrigue, gossip, cliques, favouritism and partiality". Towards the end of the homily, he asked everyone for prayers "that the College of Cardinals may always be ever more fervent in pastoral charity and filled with holiness, in order to serve the Gospel and to help the Church radiate Christ’s love in our world".

After the Mass, we once again huddled near the aisle again to catch a glimpse of the Pope.  As he got nearer to us, some from the crowd shouted "Papa! Papa! Papa!".  This caught his attention and he smiled! 

We proceeded to the piazza for the Sunday Angelus led by the Pope. We met Nicola there as well as Ninong Sonny and Ninang Noemi. While waiting for the Angelus, Chiara had a photo op with an Asian bishop.

When the clock struck 12, we saw the Pope from a far distance (in a window on the papal apartments).  I think the location where the Holy Father leads this Marian prayer should be changed to make him more nearer the people. Being on a window of the apartment where he doesn't reside still shows trappings of medieval power. Why not the balcony of the basilica?

In his message, the Pope mentioned that "in Jesus Christ we are all children of God!" and that "Those who have received a ministry to lead, preach and administer the Sacraments should not consider themselves as possessing special powers, as masters; rather, they should place themselves at the service of the community, helping it to pursue the path of holiness with joy". He later asked people to assist the new cardinals through their prayers: "Pray for us, that we might be good servants: good servants, not good masters!" All of us together....must offer the witness of a Church that is faithful to Christ, animated by the desire to serve the brethren, and ready to go out with prophetic courage to meet the expectations and spiritual needs of the men and women of our time".

It's almost a year when Jorge Mario Cardinal Bergoglio was elected Pope by his brother cardinals.  His first act was to ask people to pray for him.  Let's renew our support to the Holy Father - he really needs it considering the many challenges he is facing: clergy sexual abuse, role of women in the Church, reform of the Roman Curia, family life, to name a few.

Heartfelt greetings, prayers, and best wishes, Pope Francis on the occasion of the first anniversary of your pontificate!  May the Good Shepherd continue to strengthen you so that you may "Feed my lambs...Take care of my sheep...Feed my sheep" (Jn 21:15-17). Viva il Papa Francesco! Noi ti amiamo!

Life is Like a Tire

Last Sunday was quite a busy time for me.  After going to church with Chiara, we headed home for lunch and then, while she was watching TV, I was on Skype to talk to a cousin in the Philippines.  Later on we went to a neighbour's home for a children's party.  Chiara had a great time with the other kids.  I also enjoyed meeting new faces and getting to know more about our neighbours and other guests.  Conscious that I need to prepare our dinner and fetch Nidz from work, we thanked our generous hosts and left.  

It was 20 minutes to 8.  I told Chiara that it was time for us to fetch her Mommy.  As I was driving I heard something different.  "This is the first time I felt the car this way!", I told myself.  Because I was in a hurry, I just carried on driving.  Nidz's workplace is not that far from us anyway.  We arrived at the hospital after about 5 minutes. There was a parking space available (my usual spot) so I headed in that direction.  Chiara, surprisingly, was fast asleep. It has been a long day for her.  I went out of the car to check what's going on. My suspicion was that one of the tires needed more air.  It was more than that. One of the rear tires was deflated!

When Nidz arrived, I showed her what happened. "Daddy, you can't drive like that!", she said.  I tried to call breakdown service twice, but they were not available.  I sent a text message to Meng, a friend and Chiara's godfather, who lives nearby asking for help.  He later phoned me up to ask what's the problem.  In a few minutes, he arrived.  He first tried to use a small pump, but it didn't work.  I was getting nervous.  I felt like the day was going to end in a low note.  He went back to his car to get something. It was Tyreweld, a cylinder container whose contents would not only inflate the tire, but also get the puncture sorted.  In a matter of a few minutes, the tire was good as new!  We left the place with unending pasasalamat to Pareng Meng.

I suddenly remembered a similar situation way back in September 2012 during our visit to New York.  After seeing our relatives in Staten Island, we headed back to Manhattan where we were staying. Nidz and my mother travelled with a cousin and went ahead of us.  While Nicola, Chiara, and I were on my aunt's car. My father was with us.  My aunt and godmother Ninang Joji drove us.  As we entered Battery Park Tunnel (which connects Manhattan and Brooklyn), all of us felt as though we were all bouncing, as though we were passing through potholes.  As the tunnel has 2 lanes with vehicles moving on the same direction, drivers from the other lane were signalling to us, pointing at one of our tires.  Ninang Joji stopped the car.  Although there were barriers separating the 2 lanes, the vehicles at the back sensed the problem and managed to overtake when it was safe to do so. (The barriers, by the way, are made of thin plastic so cars can just pass through easily.)

In spite of how busy these lanes can be, I was surprised and touched that other drivers would stop for a few minutes to check on us and even offered to contact New York Police Department (NYPD). My aunt and father thanked them for their kindness.  A few minutes later 2 policemen arrived and told us that one of the rear tires (the one near to where I sat) was severely punctured.  The car had to be towed outside the tunnel.  We have to ride NYPD cars.  Chiara, Ninang Joji, and I were on one car while Papa and Nicola were on the other.  Chiara kept on talking to the policeman.  At one point she told the cop how handsome he was!  The cop graciously told her "Thanks, sweetie. Unfortunately I cannot fix your car".  He later asked where Nidz was and Chiara told him that her mom is a nurse.  "My wife is a nurse too", quipped the officer.  (Incidentally, Pareng Meng's wife is also a nurse.) He told us that at that moment his wife is working in the hospital. All throughout that ordeal, the cops were reassuring.  We were grateful for all their help. As it was getting late, Nicola, Chiara, and I took a cab to my sister's apartment.  Papa and Ninang Joji stayed for almost an hour for breakdown assistance to replace the tire before returning to Staten Island.

There's this Filipino saying that goes "Ang buhay ay parang gulong. Minsan nasa ibabaw ka. Minsan naman nasa ilalim ka" (Freely: Life is like a tire. Sometimes you are on top. Sometimes you are at the bottom.).  These two incidents made us feel that we are at the bottom. And yet, these were also moments when men of goodwill uplifted us.  They give deeper meaning to the 'salt of the earth and light of the world' which Jesus mentioned in this Sunday's Gospel.  They showed us how it is to love and be loved.

When the Donkey Gets the Spotlight

Part of our vacation in California this Christmas was to participate in the Maytinis celebration in Chula Vista on December 14, 2013.  Kawit natives who have migrated to South California have brought with them cherished home town traditions such as the Maytinis. It is the annual Christmas Eve celebration in Kawit having as its main feature the Panunuluyan - Mary and Joseph's unfruitful search for a place where to give birth to Jesus.  The lyrics of the Panunuluyan are sung by its perfomers - Joseph, Mary, the kaseros (landlords), and the angel.

Chiara was invited by my first cousin Mr. Robert "Manong Bob" Shroder to perform as one of the angels who will sing the "Coros Villancicos" (a Spanish Christmas carol) on stage.  Manong Bob has been the Musical Director of the Maytinis since he moved to the States.  Prior to that, he held the same position in Kawit, Cavite which he inherited from our grandfather the late Augusto “Lolo Gusing” Samaniego Sr.

Months before out trip, I taught the song to my unica hija. It was a bit challenging for both of us because this was her first time to sing in Spanish.  I was amazed that she learned the song quickly!

During the rehearsal at the Rancho del Rey Middle School, I brought Chiara to Mrs. Aida ‘Ti Aida’ Bautista, the Artistic Director.    Ti Aida told me and Chiara to take our seats and she'll call Chiara when it's her time to practice.  While seated I felt that something would happen.  I just don't know what.

Manong Bob arrived shortly and had a chat with Ti Aida.  I was sat next to my uncle Augusto Samaniego Jr. when my cousin called me in front. He asked if I could perform as Joseph because the person who was supposed to do it has been unable to do so.  At first I was hesitant, but through my cousin's prodding and encouragement, I finally gave my fiat.  Ti Aida handed me a copy of the script and introduced me to Miss Ashley Zaveyan who will be performing as Mary.  Ashley was very supportive and easy to work with. I learned that she has been doing this role for a few years already.  

Our rehearsal began.  Although I have learned the tune since I was a boy - thanks to Manong Bob's mom and my aunt, the late Mommy Rosie (who used to be the Cantora Mayor of the Maytinis in Kawit) - I haven't learned how to syllabicate the lyrics properly. Manong Bob patiently guided me. Ashley suggested that I use a pen to highlight lyrics on my script.  After the practice, I asked St. Joseph's help that I may do justice to the role.  I also read through the script and highlighted lyrics where the stress is required.

Then came the big day.  The school auditorium was teeming with life. Manong Bob was already rehearsing with the band when I arrived.  He later asked me and Ashley if we could have a final dry run.  As there were still some song numbers performed before the Maytinis, I sat in one corner internalizing my role.  My wife helped me out with my costume.  A few people approached me to give words of encouragement or appreciation.  I also met some relatives or friends whom I have not seen for ages.  Hours later, it was show time!  

It was a humbling experience to ask for shelter and then to be turned down by the kaseros.  I was about to shed tears.  After being rejected, the angel led me and my partner to a stable. There, we would be in front of a statue of the Baby Jesus.  I fixed my gaze on that statue, thanking the Lord for being born for us and for guiding all performers in this event.  I couldn't see Chiara from where I was located - she was actually just a few steps from me. However, I could hear her wonderful voice and that made me one such proud dad!

Christmas came with a surprise for me.  Portraying the role of my patron saint was too lofty for me. I prefer to be Joseph's donkey (or his toolbox).   During the Mass on the 4th Sunday of Advent (Dec. 22), the priest mentioned in his homily that we should not be afraid, but believe and trust God (just like Joseph and Mary) in any undertaking He calls us. During the Mass on the feast of the Holy Family (Dec. 29), our parish priest mentioned Joseph's openness and humility to do God's will. Regardless if we are donkeys or whatever names we call ourselves, God believes us! Let's get rid of what holds us back from serving Him. To Him be the glory!

I'm thankful for my family, Manong Bob, Ti Aida, Ashley, and other co-performers for their support to me and Chiara.  This would surely be an event we'll treasure in our hearts forever.

Thank you too Mommy Rosie and Lolo Gusing.  Through the exposure they have provided when I was a boy, they have prepared me for this role.  May God bless their kind souls.  Long live Maytinis!

***

Christmas is a time to be with the family.  We have been blessed this year to have spend it with my mother, my uncle Augusto and his family, and Manong Bob and his family.  The last time I saw my uncle was 15 years ago and we spent a considerable number of enjoyable and fun days in their home in San Diego.  Chiara told me before she went to sleep how she misses them, especially my cousins Zyrille and Melanie Samaniego.  I share the same feeling. I look forward to be reunited with them soon.

I'm also grateful for Jackie and Ernie Rapada and family who have welcomed us in their place in Long Beach and who have taken us to various places during our holiday.  Thanks too to Mama Cora Rapada (Ernie's mom) and family as well as Lyn and Noel Domanguera and family who were our hosts in Las Vegas.  

May God bless you all!  Till we meet again!

***

Happy Feast of the Holy Family of Jesus, Mary, and Joseph!  May all families possess Jesus' unconditional love and humility, Mary's strong faith, and Joseph's reliable obedience!

Rosary with Chiara

In observance of Rosary month, we have been reciting the Rosary at home. On certain evenings, we join our Rosary Group's recitation in selected homes.

There have been certain nights that it's only me and Chiara saying the Rosary as Nidz is on night duty.  While praying the Rosary with my daughter, I have to briefly explain to her each of the mysteries.  I try my best to be creative when saying the mysteries. For example, instead of just saying "The first Sorrowful Mystery is the Agony in the Garden", I say "The first Sorrowful Mystery, Jesus agonized in the Garden".  Listening to stories on how Jesus was born, or died on the cross, or rose from the dead she would express surprise, shock, or wonder. She would constantly ask "Why?". Rather than be irked at her curiosity, I would patiently and enthusiastically explain the mystery to her.  Having this conversation with my daughter made me rediscover my faith.  It brought me back to the time that I was a child again, of being taught how to say this beautiful devotion and being introduced to its various mysteries. 

As the little girl was gradually introduced to the devotion, she got keen to be the leader, saying a number of prayers such as the Our Father, Hail Mary, and Glory.  At the close of the Rosary, we sing Salve Regina.  I am pleased that she can already sing this song in spite of her tender age (I learned to sing it at 11/12 years old!). She may not yet utter some of the lyrics and prayers properly, but with guidance and encouragement she will be able to do it well soon.

For me, it is good to pray the Rosary with a child. I cannot rush saying the Hail Marys. I am yanked out of my comfort zone to pause and think. By doing so, I can relate with the mysteries. I can relate with God. 

For Chiara

(It was my daughter's 1st birthday last Sunday. I thought of sharing with you this letter in celebration of her special day.)

Dearest Chiara,

Time has gone by quickly that I can't believe you're now 1 year old. I remember the time when your Mom and I were very eager for your arrival. At 2.24 am of the 13th day of September 2008, I saw you being delivered by the doctor. You were crying so loudly yet it brought me great happiness to hear those cries. A few minutes later the midwife gave you to me. It was one of the first moments when I carried and stared at you. You stared back, probably wondering who this guy was.

Twelve months have gone after that blessed morning. During those months we have seen how you have grown to be a beautiful and healthy baby. Your cheerfulness and smiling face have always taken away the anxieties and stress we adults face in life. Your complete trust in us have boosted our morale to keep focused, doing our best and leaving the rest to God. Your energy throughout most of the day indeed has kept us on our toes, yet it has encouraged us to give you that quality time and space you deserve.

Thank you, little princess, for always inspiring and motivating us. Thank you for giving us that sparkle in our eyes, that smile on our face, that happiness in our hearts.

Thank you for you have been that constant reminder of the love your Mom and I have for each other.

May you grow happy and kind, strong and healthy, sensible and wise, loving and holy. Remember that we'll always be here to support and guide you.

Happy 1st birthday, Chiara! God bless you!

Love,

Daddy and Mommy

Our Lady of Fatima

It's the feast of Our Lady of Fatima on the 13th of May. Of all Marian apparitions accepted by the Church as true, Mary's apparition in Fatima, Portugal is considered our contemporary; it occured at the beginning of the 20th century.

Mary appeared to these humble children six times beginning the 13th May 1917 and every 13th of the succeeding months. Her final apparition in October featured the miracle of the sun.

There have been a number of messages of Our Lady like the devotion to the Rosary, doing sacrifices, etc, but what struck me were: "Stop offending God for He is already much offended."

It was a mother's plea to her Son's enemies to put a halt to what would hurt her beloved. It was a mother's plea to her other children to make peace with their wounded brother.

The beautiful image of Mary immaculately garbed in white, with a crown on her head a rosary on her arms, and with hands clasped in prayer has been one of the popular iconography in most homes and churches - the St Rita Hospital Chapel where I once served used to have a large image which is venerated especially in May and in October. Her message has been kept alive through the weekly praying of the Rosary in various homes via the Block Rosary groups in many parishes in the Philippines and elsewhere as well as the pilgrim image being brought to all parts of the world.

When we visited the Basilica di Santa Maria Maggiore in Rome last year, we saw the pilgrim image of Our Lady of Fatima being venerated in one of the side chapels. As we went out of this famous basilica, we met a Filipina nun who was distributing a religious magazine published by her congregation. She noticed Nidz to be pregnant then and suggested that we name our baby Fatima. We simply smiled as we have already made up our minds of what our baby would be called.

As we went back to the UK and got ourselves ready for Chiara's arrival, we were hoping and praying that she be born on the 8th September, Our Lady's birthday. The 8th came and went, but no signs of the baby being delivered. Chiara was actually delivered on the 13th. I suddenly remembered that Filipina nun we met in Rome. I suddenly remembered Our Lady of Fatima. For the 13th of September marked her penultimate apparition. Apart from the date, our baby saw the first light on a Saturday, a day very special to Mary.

We have a picture of Our Lady of Fatima in our study and everytime I bring Chiara to that room, I don't fail to bring her to that picture. More often than not, she smiles and coos before that heavenly photo.

We may not have named our daughter Fatima or Maria, but I am pretty much sure of one thing: Mary, our beloved mother, never forgets us.

***

I'm very pleased to hear that former President Cory Aquino has already been discharged from hospital after being under the knife. I'm upset though that this revered icon of Philippine democracy, has been used as a showbiz item in talk shows particularly in the shows that Kris, her youngest daughter, hosts.

***

Maligayang pista to all our kababayans in Gagalangin on the 17th of May! May St Joseph continuously pray for you.

Mothering Sunday

It's Mothers' Day in the UK on the 22nd of March. Unlike America and the Philippines, UK honours mothers every Fourth Sunday of Lent. Reading through sources, I came upon two traditional events held during Mothers' Day in the UK (more known as 'Mothering Sunday'). It has been said that hundreds of years ago people would visit the Mother Church in their locality (i.e. the cathedral) on the Fourth Sunday of Lent (a.k.a. Laetare Sunday).

Another event was that servants are only allowed to visit their families once a year and that was usually on Mothering Sunday. No one knows the exact origin of this annual celebration though.

Having spent almost six years in England, our Mass in the parish has been made more special with school children taking active part in the liturgy from readings to collections, from offering daffodils to Our Lady to reading poems to honour their moms (spelt as mums in the UK).

Motherhood has often baffled me. It's no joke that women have to experience the pains of growing up - menstruation, cramps, etc - in preparation for their likely role as mothers. And when they do become moms, the pains of being pregnant, giving birth, looking after the baby, etc come to the fore. Not to mention taking care of the household (and putting up with their other halfs and child/ren).

I was like a Jew when I often said before: "Thank God I became a man, not a woman!". However, looking at how my wife and our daughter interact with each other I feel being 'edged out'.(An old man whom I met in hospital elevator when Chiara was born 'prophesied' that.) My frustration gets even further when I couldn't put the child to sleep or stop her from crying. Everytime I leave for work, I could see Chiara so peacefully asleep next to her Mom and I feel envious of it. 'How I wish I were a mother' I quipped.

I changed my prayer: "Thank God I became a man! May I love the woman He gave me and the child that she bore us!"

***

Happy Mothers' Day to my wife who has taken really good care of me and Chiara, to my mom who looked after me and my siblings singlehandedly during our tender years, and to all mothers out there...in the UK and elsewhere!

Baby Time

Last Monday was Nidz's birthday so I thought of booking some days off from the office just to be with her and Chiara. I was off Friday last week (until this Monday) so Nidz has a time for herself doing some shopping while I was at home looking after the baby. Having put the baby to sleep, I decided to do some household chores and some editing (I was expecting some work to be e-mailed to me then). As I was editing, I was praying hard that Chiara won't suddenly wake up (She does sometimes have a rather short nap in the day.). Article 1 went through the editing mill smoothly plus some feedback 'session' with one of our staff writers. "Jolly good!" I told myself having finished those so I decided to proceed to Article 2. As I was in the middle of doing it, I heard a familiar sound emanating from the room next to where I was working. It was Chiara crying with all her might. I attempted to give her the pacifier, but to no avail. No choice, but to carry her.

I tried my best to put her on my lap, holding her with my left hand and typing with my right hand. At first she would behave, but having sensed that I was engrossed with another thing, she would cry (She hates computers except when you log on to YouTube and let her listen to "Old MacDonald had a farm".). So I would have to stand and bring her  near the window and point to her the Maternity Unit of the City Hospital saying: "D'yan ka pinanganak." (That's where you were born). We'll then come back to the desk in the hope that she'll let me finish what I'm doing. I managed though after several sit-stand-sit moments. But there's that breaking point when I would need to turn the computer off.

I still remembered what Nidz was telling me when she was pregnant about how life would be more challenging when the baby arrives. I keep on telling her that it would be exciting!

Indeed it is more challenging. Sleeping patterns for me and my better half has been affected (A cousin who also had a child once told me to forget sleep.). Eating meals too can sometimes be on your own. Things that you could spend so much time on like chatting and surfing the net now have to be done sparingly.

Times have changed, but no complaints though. Here's a much, much, much important one to look after. Spending more time with her (and her mom, of course!) and going that extra mile is absolutely bliss! Whenever she smiles at you, your heart will truly melt. This experience is being shared by fellow parishioners (including the cloistered Poor Clare sisters) who saw her last Sunday.

As for me and Nidz, we stood there ever thankful and blessed parents as can be.

***

Speaking about being thankful, I am very grateful for all the love and dedication Nidz has unconditionally showered on our little angel. She has become, for me, a Super Mom on all counts.

Well done, Labs! Here's to a long and meaningful life together!

I love you and Chiara very, very, very much!

***

Happy Golden Wedding Anniversary to Tito Ponso and Tita Laling Esquillo on Sunday, 8th March! Spending 50 years together is indeed an achievement! Well done to you both!

***


On the 10th of March we begin our Novena in honour of St Joseph whose feast is on the 19th. Since becoming a dad, I now begin to relate more myself with this great man often asking his prayers that I too may look after my wife and child with that same love he had when he took care of Mama Mary and Jesus.

Hug in the Cold

It was a tiresome and depressing week at the start of this month. Blame it on the weather - most parts of the UK including Nottingham were covered in snow! Though it would be postcard-like, you would hate the snow when you're travelling especially when all that white substance turns like Slurpy, that icy refreshment you like to buy in the 711, although not in attractive hues.

I really have to keep my ears on the radio for the weather forecast. I normally do shopping on a Friday, but have to do it 2 days earlier. True enough, the snow poured in Thursday morning. As I kissed my wife before reporting for work that day, she told me not to go, but I insisted. While travelling on a rather snail-paced mode, I got remorseful. Still, I chose to keep on going. I managed to reach the university - 1 hour and a couple of minutes later as though coming from Cavite to Tondo. In a few hours, we got an announcement that we could leave at 3pm. Travelling back home was much better!

When I reached home, I was full of stories to my wife and to our baby (who keeps on looking at me while being carried by her mother and then suddenly smiles as though she understands what I was saying). Still, I felt something heavy in me in spite me talking. I'm not having a heart attack, though! I really needed to unload myself!

I approached Nidz and Chiara and gave them a big family hug!

That did the trick! A very personal touch that speaks louder and clearer than my moans and rantings. A touch that stands on its own.

Best Gift Ever

A few weeks after Chiara was born, people were asking, "Kailan ang binyag?" (When's the baptism?) I just responded, "Pinaghahandaan na." (It's being sorted out.).

We were planning for a baptism in early Spring (March or April) as the weather in November to February won't be that favourable especially for the baby. But we later agreed to have it in December as we really wanted Chiara to be baptized before the year ends. December is also a memorable month for Nidz and I since we tied the knot on this month years ago. We checked the calendar to see what's the nearest Sunday to the 18th (our wedding anniversary) and we found the 21st as the prospect date.

I got in touch with Fr Paul Newman, our Parish Priest, who was very kind, accommodating, and supportive to us. The 21st was OK in his calendar. He gave me a form to complete and set a date for him to visit us at home to orient us on the ceremony. We felt really honoured to have him as a visitor!

We contacted family and friends to invite them to be Chiara's godparents and they all accepted. In the following weeks invitations were sent out to them and to other acquaintances. Other items such as catering, baby's attire, and the like were all put into place.

A month was reduced into weeks and weeks turned out to be days. It was Chiara's Big Day! The weather looked fine; it wasn't cloudy nor windy. The sun turned up (like it did when our daughter was born)! The 21st is actually the shortest day of the year (Winter Solstice), but in 2008 it wasn't!

We arrived at the Our Lady of Perpetual Succour Parish Church a few minutes before 12 noon, the time for the baptism. The atmosphere was very solemn. There were a few familiar faces who turned up for the event. Fr Paul welcomed us all, most especially Chiara and guided us throughout the ceremony, explaining the use and significance of oil and water and the sign of the Cross. It was a very informal gathering which made each of us feel really special, Chiara in particular. The Godparents also took an active role in the ceremony - Kaye Lagman read the Bidding Prayers, Joel Briones wiped Chiara's head after water was poured onto it, Jona Estioso wrapped Chiara with the white shawl, and Ronald Abrera received the lighted baptismal candle.

The priest explained that being a baptised Christian is being called to love just as the saints did, just as Jesus did. During the invocation of the saints, Father included two saints from Assisi, Italy - Saints Clare and Francis - Chiara's namesake. Chiara (pronounced as Kya-ra)is Italian equivalent of Clare and means 'clear' or 'bright'. Francesca (pronounced as Fran-ches-ka), her second name, is Italian equivalent of Frances. Nowadays we all need to be clear with our purpose and mission in life like St Clare. We also need to be agents of peace like St Francis who once prayed to God to make him an instrument of His peace. I hope and pray we parents and godparents would be good examples of these to Chiara so she could do the same to others.

There's actually a 'Franciscan' reason behind our daughter's name. Almost five years ago, one of the parishioners who warmly welcomed us to Our Lady's was Sr Margaret, a Poor Clare sister whose monastery is attached to the church. We did not meet them then physically, only by e-mail but that meant a lot for Nidz and me. From then on we developed a relationship with the sisters. As their congregration suggests, St Clare was their foundress and St Francis was the founder of the Franciscan order; the umbrella organization where the Poor Clare sisters belong. (Incidentally, St Francis's dad was named Pietro...)

After the ceremony (and a number of photo shots at the beautiful altar) we had a sumptuous lunch of various Filipino dishes at home. Colleagues from the parish as well as friends and neighbours came to share in the celebration.

I'm very glad that during our child's first Christmas we gave her the best gift any parent could offer: being a Christian. I'm grateful for everyone who supported us throughout the process. They have been the helping hands we could rely on.

Our parents have once brought us along in their journey of faith through baptism. It's now our turn to do so with our own daughter.