Living Rosary

August 25, 2015. The second day of my second visit to the Big Apple. It was a hot day in New York. After having breakfast, my younger brother Gio and I made our way from Queens to Manhattan via train and then headed to Staten Island via ferry to see our dad.  I told my wife that on our way, I would like to visit the Shrine of St Elizabeth Ann Seton, the first native-born citizen of the US to become saint, which was just across the ferry station.

We intended to take the 10:30 am ferry ride and ran as fast as we could, but a member of staff has signaled that the gates are closed.  The next ferry will be in the next 30 minutes. Perhaps this was a sign to visit the shrine across the street!

I have seen the façade of this church during my first visit to New York in 2012, but didn't have the chance to enter it.  The church is actually dedicated to Our Lady of the Rosary.  How did it become a shrine of St Elizabeth? The church is actually located on what used to be the saint's house.  On one corner of this small church, one could find a statue of St Elizabeth as well as paintings depicting her life story.

Gio and I went to a pew and spent a few minutes in prayer. Then, I approached the main altar to marvel at the stained glass featuring some important events in the life of St Elizabeth. To the right of the main altar is a statue of Our Lady and the Child Jesus. I approached this too and said a prayer to the Blessed Mother. I took a photo of the statue and wondered, how come the Virgin nor the Lord is not holding a rosary? Surely, if this is the statue of Our Lady of the Rosary then there should be a rosary similar to statues like that of Our Lady of Fatima or Our Lady of La Naval or Our Lady of Manaoag?

A few weeks back, on the Eve of the Assumption of Mary, Cardinal Chito Tagle of Manila, said "Magpractice na tayo ng langit dito sa lupa. Practice makes perfect. Gusto natin ng langit, magpractice na dito. Eh ang langit ay never-ending communion with Jesus. Practice na ngayon! Sige na! katulad ni Maria: joyous, sorrowful, luminous, glorious, always with Jesus".

Reflecting on what the good cardinal said, could it be that the statue is telling me - and all other devotees - to become Mary's living rosary, to mirror the various mysteries wherein both Mother and Child were united? I'm sure if we do so, we would be able to convince more people to appreciate this devotion, to love Mary, and ultimately to love Jesus.

October is just around the corner, that month dedicated to the recitation of the Holy Rosary. As we once again observe this revered devotion, as we lovingly repeat the Hail Mary, let our hearts say to Our Lady "Yes, Mama Mary we would like to become your rosary. Help us to reflect your virtues. Help us to be like you, constantly united with Jesus in spite of what life throws at us".

Life is Like a Tire

Last Sunday was quite a busy time for me.  After going to church with Chiara, we headed home for lunch and then, while she was watching TV, I was on Skype to talk to a cousin in the Philippines.  Later on we went to a neighbour's home for a children's party.  Chiara had a great time with the other kids.  I also enjoyed meeting new faces and getting to know more about our neighbours and other guests.  Conscious that I need to prepare our dinner and fetch Nidz from work, we thanked our generous hosts and left.  

It was 20 minutes to 8.  I told Chiara that it was time for us to fetch her Mommy.  As I was driving I heard something different.  "This is the first time I felt the car this way!", I told myself.  Because I was in a hurry, I just carried on driving.  Nidz's workplace is not that far from us anyway.  We arrived at the hospital after about 5 minutes. There was a parking space available (my usual spot) so I headed in that direction.  Chiara, surprisingly, was fast asleep. It has been a long day for her.  I went out of the car to check what's going on. My suspicion was that one of the tires needed more air.  It was more than that. One of the rear tires was deflated!

When Nidz arrived, I showed her what happened. "Daddy, you can't drive like that!", she said.  I tried to call breakdown service twice, but they were not available.  I sent a text message to Meng, a friend and Chiara's godfather, who lives nearby asking for help.  He later phoned me up to ask what's the problem.  In a few minutes, he arrived.  He first tried to use a small pump, but it didn't work.  I was getting nervous.  I felt like the day was going to end in a low note.  He went back to his car to get something. It was Tyreweld, a cylinder container whose contents would not only inflate the tire, but also get the puncture sorted.  In a matter of a few minutes, the tire was good as new!  We left the place with unending pasasalamat to Pareng Meng.

I suddenly remembered a similar situation way back in September 2012 during our visit to New York.  After seeing our relatives in Staten Island, we headed back to Manhattan where we were staying. Nidz and my mother travelled with a cousin and went ahead of us.  While Nicola, Chiara, and I were on my aunt's car. My father was with us.  My aunt and godmother Ninang Joji drove us.  As we entered Battery Park Tunnel (which connects Manhattan and Brooklyn), all of us felt as though we were all bouncing, as though we were passing through potholes.  As the tunnel has 2 lanes with vehicles moving on the same direction, drivers from the other lane were signalling to us, pointing at one of our tires.  Ninang Joji stopped the car.  Although there were barriers separating the 2 lanes, the vehicles at the back sensed the problem and managed to overtake when it was safe to do so. (The barriers, by the way, are made of thin plastic so cars can just pass through easily.)

In spite of how busy these lanes can be, I was surprised and touched that other drivers would stop for a few minutes to check on us and even offered to contact New York Police Department (NYPD). My aunt and father thanked them for their kindness.  A few minutes later 2 policemen arrived and told us that one of the rear tires (the one near to where I sat) was severely punctured.  The car had to be towed outside the tunnel.  We have to ride NYPD cars.  Chiara, Ninang Joji, and I were on one car while Papa and Nicola were on the other.  Chiara kept on talking to the policeman.  At one point she told the cop how handsome he was!  The cop graciously told her "Thanks, sweetie. Unfortunately I cannot fix your car".  He later asked where Nidz was and Chiara told him that her mom is a nurse.  "My wife is a nurse too", quipped the officer.  (Incidentally, Pareng Meng's wife is also a nurse.) He told us that at that moment his wife is working in the hospital. All throughout that ordeal, the cops were reassuring.  We were grateful for all their help. As it was getting late, Nicola, Chiara, and I took a cab to my sister's apartment.  Papa and Ninang Joji stayed for almost an hour for breakdown assistance to replace the tire before returning to Staten Island.

There's this Filipino saying that goes "Ang buhay ay parang gulong. Minsan nasa ibabaw ka. Minsan naman nasa ilalim ka" (Freely: Life is like a tire. Sometimes you are on top. Sometimes you are at the bottom.).  These two incidents made us feel that we are at the bottom. And yet, these were also moments when men of goodwill uplifted us.  They give deeper meaning to the 'salt of the earth and light of the world' which Jesus mentioned in this Sunday's Gospel.  They showed us how it is to love and be loved.

A Visit to Lolo and Lola

My family and I visited New York mid-September for a week.  We stayed at my sister Nicola's apartment in Manhattan - my mother also stays with her.  We've visited a number of places in the city which I will write on separately.

On the last leg of our visit, we (together with sisters Nicola and Kristina) went to Staten Island via ferry boat from downtown Manhattan (near Battery Park and the St Elizabeth Ann Seton Church).  Staten Island is where most of Papa's siblings and their families live.  Papa fetched us and one of my sisters told him that we wanted to visit the graveyard of our grandparents Lolo Paul and Lola Piling as well as that of Tita Aning, Papa's first cousin.

Unlike Manhattan, Staten Island seems more relaxed and has a considerable amount of trees and other natural resources. It was a sunny 15th of September. 

Days ago, I was having thoughts of what will I say on my grandparents' grave. Should I introduce Nidz and Chiara to them? Will I sing for them "Salve Regina", a song they once sang? When we arrived at the Moravian Cemetery, Papa tidied up the place as there have been rubbish covering the epitaph. Nicola put some flowers we bought for them. As for me, all my plans evaporated. I couldn't say a thing. Papa started to lead us in prayer and then we stayed for a few minutes just to look at the place and exchange pleasantries with Pilar Vera, a first cousin who came by. Still, I couldn't say a thing. I just gazed at the grave.  Kristina started saying (to my grandparents) "Here is your grandson." I became teary-eyed, but managed to hide it. I simply kissed the epitaph twice - one for Lolo and one for Lola as a sign of my respect, the way I did when they were still alive.

As our relatives were waiting for us in a house nearby, we started to wrap up our visit by having a picture taking (see above).  Chiara, strangely, stood on top of the epitaph. I put my hands on her  to protect her from falling.  The ease and speed of technology brought this picture to another part of the globe. My brother Gio (who's in Singapore) would later tell me that he saw the picture and was asking why I let Chiara stood on the epitaph. My brother felt it seems disrespectful. I told him I don't think so. For me, Chiara standing on top of the epitaph, is a statement that she has Albano roots. That she is a great granddaughter of Paulino and Pilar.

It was my first visit to my grandparents' burial place and I felt their presence. Perhaps that was the reason why I was speechless. It was an emotional occasion.  I'm very grateful for having been there with my wife and child and with other members of the family.  In a way, I felt Lolo and Lola were still alive in the faith that we continue to live, celebrate, and share.The same faith that they once cherished and passed on to us.

May God bless their souls. Amen.

My Model

This coming 19th November, it would be 25 years since my Lolo Paul’s passing away. My siblings and I had the misfortune of not being able to see him for the last time – he died and was buried in New York. A few months before that, he was in the Philippines and even managed to travel from Tondo to Cavite to see us. When I saw him (and my aunt and cousins) waiting outside the house, his first words were “Hindi na kayo dumalaw sa akin…” (You didn’t come again to visit me…) He said those in a gentle voice, not reprimanding. I feel the sentence was incomplete, but didn’t press him for that. We both knew that he came to Cavite that blessed Sunday because he missed us. I never saw him that happy to see us.

Years before that final encounter with my paternal grandfather, he wrote me a letter telling me that I am the model for my brother and sisters. I think he wanted me to be aware of the great responsibility I have as the eldest in the brood. I must admit that at a tender age – 8 or 9 years – I took his words seriously. During that time, my father was abroad leaving us 5 children in our mother’s care.

Society has this high expectation on who’s the eldest in the family that one false move and they’re on your case!

How could I be a model for my siblings (and for others)? Perhaps I could pick up some values from my late grandfather:

P – Prayer. Lolo Paul was a man of prayer. He and Lola Piling would start their day with the Holy Mass. He also had devotion to the Sacred Heart of Jesus, the Rosary, and the Holy Souls. Whenever we travel past a cemetery, he would lead us in praying for the dead. I’m pretty much sure that those souls he prayed for when he was alive have remembered him when it was his turn to be called by God to his true home. I will forever be grateful to Lolo Paul for inculcating in my tender mind then the value of communicating with God as often as I could.

A – Action. Lolo Paul’s actions were rooted in prayer. As a doctor, he always sought guidance from the Divine Healer so he could bring healing to his patients.When he was Grand Knight of the Knights of Columbus, he spearheaded the traditional Gift-Giving to the poor of Gagalangin Parish held during the Feast of the Epiphany. He and Lola Piling were also the husband and wife team that led the lay faithful of that parish in building a bigger church in the late 50s.

U – Unity. As head of a large family, it was important for him that all members are united for a common goal. When most of the family was still in the Philippines, we would all attend Sunday Mass at the St Rita Hospital Chapel and have breakfast together at his big house – there used to be 2 round tables in the dining area. I was told that when he was still managing the hospital and college he founded, he treated his employees as though they were his own. He also strongly believed in the indissolubility of marriage. Being a dad myself, I have to make sure that my own family would stay intact in spite the many evils besetting families nowadays.

L – Love. Lolo Paul once mentioned that this was the secret of his success. He loved his family very well and devoted his life for their well-being. According to Lola Piling, she found in Lolo Paul “a father, brother, and husband rolled in one”. Having raised 11 children (10 are still alive) can be a daunting task, but because of love he was able to take on the challenge. Indeed, for someone who loves, the difficult becomes doable! And at the end of our lives, we would be judged for how we loved not how much we have in our pockets.

Twenty-five years or so has passed and there have been more people whom I have looked after – siblings, cousins, friends, and now family. I tried my best to be a model for them. I hope I have been a good one. If not, I beg for their indulgence.

May God who once gave Lolo Paul to us, bless his good soul and allow me (and everyone else touched by his words and examples) to continue his legacy while looking forward to that reunion with him in heaven soon.