Public Property

Who says that only politicians and showbiz personalities are public properties? I like to think that parents too are public properties.  It becomes evident when our kids (or grand kids, if you have one) pick up what they see us say or do. 

Being fond of classical and traditional Filipino music, I would listen to either of these while driving or at home.  Chiara, who would often hear these, has shown some interest too. I once watched on YouTube Nyoy Volante impersonating Sylvia La Torre in “Your Face Sounds Familiar”, a contest organised by ABS-CBN. Nyoy was singing “Sa Kabukiran” to the glee of my unica hija. She was more delighted when she listened to Sylvia’s own rendition of that famous song (and more).

There is a feeling of satisfaction when she picks up something positive. Conversely, there is disappointment when it’s something negative that she imitates.

One wintry evening, as I was about to fetch Nidz from work, our old car won’t start. Annoyed, I swore three times. Suddenly, Chiara repeated what I said. I felt remorseful after that event. Ditto those moments such as when she asked me  while I was parking somewhere , “Daddy what is that?” and I could not respond because the sign says “No parking”.  I recall what Tita Lilia Reyes would often say “Ipakita mo na sa matanda, huwag lang sa bata”. 

Because our kids ‘own’ us, it comes as a daily challenge to be their role model, to nurture them in a responsible and Christian way. Gone are the days of buhay binata.  These are the times of sharing, of putting the house in order.

I have been involved lately  in a project collecting 100 anecdotes in honor of my Lola Piling  Valdes-Albano whose 100^th birth anniversary is celebrated this year. A few anecdotes that I came across mentioned the Sacred Heart of Jesus to whom Lola was devoted to. She once advised the Apostleship of Prayer members in Gagalangin to say “Sacred Heart of Jesus, I place all my trust in Thee” 33 times (in honor of the number of years the Lord stayed on earth). As the project is due to conclude tomorrow, I felt a rediscovery of this devotion particularly that beautiful prayer. Entrusting everything – my vocation, family, work, etc. – to the Lord’s Sacred Heart is key to become a nurturing father, a good role model.  

To all fathers out there, here’s wishing us all a Happy Father’s Day this Sunday!  May our hearts be like that of Jesus so that our children and others who look up to us may find life and have it to the full (cf. John 10:10).

***

As I write this, I cannot fail to remember Lolo Paul Albano, whose 104^th birth anniversary is commemorated today. One afternoon, many summers ago, as I was playing in their bedroom, I saw him apply something like a roll-on stick on his hair and combed it.  When he left I mimicked my grandfather, however I struggled to comb my hair as smoothly as he did his! The maid has to wash my hair to get rid of Lolo’s pomade! The sticky pomade is all gone, but my Lolo’s memory, his religiosity, devotion to family and service to the community continue to thrive in my veins. Thank you, Lolo Paul! Happy birthday po!

Hairy Issues

Many years ago, we went to the airport to fetch our grandmother who was returning from a trip to the States. As we waited, my aunt told me "There's your Lola (Grandmother)!". I stood up in front of a woman I hardly recognized. She wasn't the Lola I knew of. Her white hair prevented me from recognizing her.   My younger brother had a different reaction. Once she asked my mother if she would also grow old like Lola. My mother gave the affirmative to which my brother cried!

Later on, I have seen my Lola's white hair in her children - my Dad and his siblings.  

(Lola Piling and her sons. Seated: Lola Piling; Standing L-R: Mario (Papa), Ireneo, Laurentino, Paulino Jr., and Alejandro Albano)

When I started to have white hair, an aunt told me "Welcome to the club!".  White hair can sometimes be nasty because,  and I noticed this, they grow faster than the dark one. My wife would cut or pluck them out before, but she seemed to have given up when more and more of them appeared. (I've seen some white hair too in my moustache, nose, and beard!)

If my father's side of the family is known to have white (and thick) hair, my mother's side has (male) members with thinning hair.  

(Samaniego siblings. Seated L-R: Aida (Mama), Aida Samaniego (Mama's sister-in-law; my aunt and godmother), Lilia Samaniego-Reyes; Standing L-R: Edgardo, Luisito, Augusto Jr., and Rustico Samaniego)

Looking at my head, I have the 'best' of both families!

White or thinning hair, both tell us of the reality of ageing.  The Good Book says "White hair is a crown of honor obtained by righteous living." (Proverbs 16:31).  It's nearly Father's Day. I must admit that I am not a perfect father, but at each waking moment, at each time I hear my daughter's voice, my heart leaps for joy. I am grateful to be a father. As I age, I hope and pray that I will grow as a wise and holy father (and husband). That I'll be worthy of that 'crown of honor'.

Happy Father's Day to all dads!

Be My Love, Be My Salvation

The Solemnity of the Sacred Heart of Jesus tomorrow and the Memorial of the Immaculate Heart of Mary on Saturday, brings to mind a prayer that my grandparents would usually utter: Sweet Heart of Jesus, be my love. Sweet Heart of Mary, be my salvation. Very short prayer, but full of meaning, depth, and inspiration.

Msgr Mario Enriquez, in his homily during the feast of the Sacred Heart in Gagalangin many years ago, said that we are not devoted to the physical heart of our Lord, but to the love which Jesus' heart symbolizes.  Indeed, if we honor and venerate His physical heart only, our devotion will miss the whole point why that physical heart was pierced by a lance on the first Good Friday - out of love for us. 

It was said that the first followers of Jesus were known not because of their religious practices or customs, but by their love for each other.  Lest we forget, this love is rooted in and animated by Jesus.  A kind of love that is selfless. It has been 2,000 years or so and that small community has grown enormously across the world.  Are our communities still known for the love which our ancestors in faith have had for each other?  Is charity still found at our homes?  Are we still motivated by love to do good? Yes or (more importantly) no, let's daily ask our Lord: Sweet Heart of Jesus, be my love.

Because of that selfless love that Jesus has, we have all been saved.  And yet, each day of our lives here on earth is a challenge to be saved.  Because of our fallen nature, we sometimes forget how we have been loved and so we commit mistakes.  We become ungrateful for what Jesus has done for us.

I remember Bro Jun Ignao, a former colleague in the Basic Christian Community in Barangay Poblacion (Kawit, Cavite), who once told us that if God would destroy the whole world, everyone would perish except Mary.  Having been conceived without any stain of sin, Mary is truly God's favored daughter.  Her heart has always been united with the heart of her son.  Therefore, if we wish to rise up from our sins and be counted among those saved at the end of time, if we wish to gain eternal life, if we desire to be with God forever in heaven, let us always call on our mother: Sweet Heart of Mary, be my salvation.

Let me be clear though that salvation doesn't come from Mary per se.  Salvation only comes from Jesus, our Savior. By way of analogy, if the moon merely reflects the light that comes from the sun, so is Mary imparting salvation that comes from Jesus.

United with the Hearts of Jesus and Mary, may our journey in life be filled with love so that we and our other fellow pilgrims can find salvation at our destination. As it will soon be Father's Day, please pray for us fathers that we may always put on the love of Jesus so we can truly lead our families to salvation.

Sweet Heart of Jesus, be my love. Sweet Heart of Mary, be my salvation.

Maligayang pista po!

Things I've Learned From Papa

When I became a father, I tried to open that treasure chest of fond memories, memories of when I was a child being looked after by my parents, my father in particular.

My father was of the strict-type of guy as you might have come across a previous article. One of things that he taught us was to be respectful of others. Take for example when someone in the house is still asleep. He told us to be quiet so as not to disturb others. One morning, I was with a little sister in our parents’ bedroom – Papa was still asleep. I opened a drawer and closed it quickly when suddenly my sister cried – one of her fingers got trapped in the drawer! As a result, I got a slap from my already roused up father. Indeed, “Magbiro ka na sa lasing, huwag lang sa bagong gising”. (Better to crack a joke to someone who’s drunk than to someone half-awake.)

That incident, painful as it may be, made me realise what respect is all about: being mindful of others (asleep or not) and treat them accordingly.

As a dad myself, I make it a point not to disturb Chiara when she is asleep. When she was a few weeks old, a faint noise could wake her up; sometimes it’s hard to put her back to sleep.

As a husband, it is also a challenge for me not to provoke my wife’s anger. I must admit that I sometimes fail by letting my own anger get the better of me.

Another lesson that I learned from Papa was to remain humble in spite of one’s achievements. It was almost summer of 1982 when he made a surprise visit to my school and spoke with my teacher. I thought he would have gone after that meeting, but waited for me and drove me home – we used to have a school service transport. As he was driving, he expressed elation at my achievements in school and was anticipating my progression to the next year’s grade. Whilst driving, he kept on repeating to me that I will be Grade 3 student soon. Towards the end of this seemingly unending praise came a warning: “Huwag ka lang magiging mayabang.” (Just don’t be boastful of your achievements.)

Someone once told me how proud Chiara would have me to be her Dad. I replied to my friend that I am actually humbled that God has chosen me to be Chiara’s father.

If we hear of princes or princesses becoming kings or queens at their tender age, I became the man of the house at age 8 when Papa left for greener pastures in the States. He told me to look after my younger siblings and my mother. Symbolically, I sat at the head of the dining table until I moved to the UK. At that age, I tried to understand the responsibility that was entrusted to me. I’m glad that Mama, my grandparents, uncles and aunts were all there to support me.

I must admit that at times I was reluctant to act, sometimes failed to act, and still at some times overact or over react. I just fall down on my knees to ask for Divine Guidance to remain faithful in doing what needs to be done.

Happy Fathers’ Day, Papa! Thank you for inculcating respect, humility, and responsibility in my then young mind. Rest assured that I will pass them on my daughter. God bless you!

May God, the source of all fatherhood, bless all fathers this Sunday and always!