Woman of the House

The wise woman builds her house, but the foolish tears it down with her own hands. (Proverbs 14:1)

Tia Lils once told me that she used to work, but after getting married, she decided to give up her job to become a full-time housewife. While Tito Jimmy earned a living, she looked after their growing family. A woman with many talents, she cooked, sewed, crocheted, managed the family budget, adorned their home, etc.  

Living with them for almost a year, I have seen how my dear aunt "built" her house - not just the edifice, but her family first and foremost. And when I say family, this is not just her own children, but also her nephews, nieces, and other relatives who have been entrusted to her care. 

During my stay with them then and every time I pay them a visit, there was no distinction between my cousins and I. Everyone was treated fairly. Everyone sees and treats each other as kapatid (sibling). 

Here were some of the ways she built us up:

She inspired us to be rooted on God. A devout woman, she was a regular churchgoer - Sundays, first Fridays, first Saturdays, etc. She was also a lector/commentator. Her prayer before serving: "Panginoon, ipagkaloob mo sa akin ang Iyong Espiritu upang makapaglingkod ako sa Iyong sambayanan" (Lord, grant me Your Spirit that I may serve Your people.).

She inculcated in us the value of hard work. During weekends and holidays, after having breakfast, we have to do our household chores: fetching water, cleaning and scrubbing the floor, doing some errands, etc. No one's allowed to sit idle. 

She taught us how to live within our means. For her, it is important to save something for a rainy day. When she had enough savings, she had a bigger house built in 1985 which stands up to the present.

She trained us to be organized. Everything should have its proper place. We should only bring out those things that are needed. A cluttered space, in her book, is a no-no.

She exhorted us to be forgiving. She once remarked, with tears on her eyes, that nursing a grudge won't do you any good.

For zeal for Your house has consumed me... (Psalm 69:9)

In the early 90s, the Mother Butler Guild (MBG) was established in St Mary Magdalene Parish. This  organization takes charge of cleaning the church as well as preparing and maintaining liturgical vestments and other paraphernalia. With all my cousins having grown up, Tia Lils decided to join MBG. Every Saturday morning, she would join her confreres to clean the church. According to Eldin, her youngest, she would arrive ahead of the others so that she could clean the tabernacle.  Her reason? While cleaning the "Holy of holies", she was praying for all of us. 

In My Father’s house are many rooms; if that were not so, I would have told you, because I am going there to prepare a place for you. (John 14:2)

Tia Lils, a faithful wife, a loving mother, a doting grandmother, a caring aunt, a loyal follower of Christ, passed away peacefully in the presence of her loved ones in the early hours of 13th February, two days after the feast day of Our Lady of Lourdes of whom she was a devotee. At the prime of her life, she looked after her house and, later on, God's house. 

Tia Lils' life is indeed a journey. The many chapters of her life were but milestones of her pilgrimage to the Father.  Through the many ups and downs of her life, she soldiered on because she put her trust in the Lord. Having accomplished her mission on earth, I am hopeful that Jesus will welcome her in the New Jerusalem.

Tia Lils, thank you for everything that you have shared with us - your love, your wisdom, your life. We have been truly blessed through the many ways that you have touched our lives. Help us to be a blessing to others. As you have remembered us in prayer and service before the Blessed Sacrament, please continue to pray for us now that you are in the healing presence of God. We love you!

Eternal rest grant unto the soul of Lilia, O Lord and let perpetual light shine upon her. May she rest in peace. Amen.

Our hearts go out to Manong Alvin, Erwin, Eldin, Tito Jimmy, and the rest of the family in this time of sorrow and bereavement.

The Real Power Wielders

I dropped by a friend's house one evening and I saw them watching TFC. The show at that time was a news item on the forthcoming State of the Nation Address (SONA) by President Noynoy Aquino. Or should I say the imminent fashion show during the SONA, thanks to some of its attendees. Archbishop Emeritus Oscar Cruz aired his dismay at the insensitivity of these people who would flaunt in their costly attires and jewelry amidst the poverty in the country.

Appeals such as those of Msgr. Cruz's should be commended.  However, such appeals would fall on deaf ears for as long as people celebrate such inappropriate behavior of our government officials and their families.

Take for example ABS-CBN News' SONA 2014 Fashion People's Choice wherein people are invited to vote for who is the best dressed during the occasion (https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.10152268795930168.1073741988.27254475167&type=1).  As confirmed in the news item I saw on TV, there will be a 2015 edition of this.  Such activities just feed in to the politicians' proclivity to show off.  If people boycott such a page and the like, the less approval the politicians would get.

Why do some slimy, rubbish, rejected politicians experience a redux? It's because people continue to idolize them. They are invited to public gatherings, act as hermano/a mayor in town fiestas, featured in TV shows or magazines, etc. 

Why do some good, sensible leaders have little or no success in their platform of action? It's because there are people who obstruct them. It's because there are people who (mis)influence them. When Fr Nestor Gungon became Parish Priest of Gagalangin in 2002, we at Tanghalang Anluwage Inc had high hopes on him. Unfortunately, he has been won over by the (power-hungry) officers of the Parish Pastoral Council (PPC). This triggered us to pull out of the parish - both Tanghalan and Pahayagan. Now, he's gone and replaced by a new pastor.  I just hope and pray that Gagalangin's new pastor would be able to whip the parish into shape.  If I were an officer of the PPC, I would offer my courtesy resignation to give the cura a freehand in effecting change.

I have come to realize, whether it be in politics or religion, that those who wield power are not the politicians, bishops, or parish priests.  It's the people! And by people I just don't mean the common tao, but more so the underlings, the minions, the taga-loob.  Unless people are properly educated, unless there is a change of heart, any sound reforms introduced by our leaders would be useless.

Ate Liza

Today, July 19, marks the 55th anniversary when the present church of St Joseph de Gagalangin Parish was blessed and inaugurated.  The four corners of this church as well as its neighbouring edifices (parish hall and formation center) were filled with the song and laughter of a beloved friend who passed away 2 days ago, Mrs Eliza "Ate Liza" Manzano-O'Leary.

I first met Ate Liza twenty years ago when all youth and Marian organizations were busy preparing for the birthday celebration of Our Lady.  I learned that she was a nurse from PGH, has a daughter named Pam, and was a member of the Catholic Youth Movement (CYM).  CYM leads in the singing in church every Sunday at 6pm.

I think Ate Liza got a break when she sang solo Fruto Ramirez's Ave Maria during the Harana kay Maria, a night of serenade for Mary during her birthday celebration in 1997. The late Tita Baby Buenaventura was the pianist.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dowqLnTdVOI

Another shining moment for her was when she acted in a play staged by the group in late 1998.

There was one incident that almost snatched Ate Liza from us all.  She was sat in one of the pews midway of the church, watching us as we were rehearsing for a Christmas concert.  Workers where then moving a scaffolding in the aisle when they unintentionally hit one of the chandeliers.  The chandelier instantly fell to the ground just a few inches from where Ate Liza was.  She stood unscathed. 

Apart from being friendly and cool, our group saw a female version of Big Brother in her.  Although she wasn't the type who will be on our case if we become mischievous.  WYSIWYG. That's Ate Liza. It's funny that she calls me 'Manong', but I am not bothered as I maintain that that word of endearment is not as hierarchical as 'Kuya' or 'Diko', etc.

When Anluwage was disbanded in the mid 90s, she became involved in the Singles for Christ, a renewal group under the umbrella of the great Couples for Christ Ministries.  When Nidz and I decided to join Singles, Ate Liza was Nidz's facilitator and later household leader.  She was very supportive of us.

During Anluwage's revival in 1996, she was named Executive Secretary, the lone woman in a pack of barakos in the Board of Directors.

Ate Liza migrated to Ireland about the same time when we moved to the UK.  I'm glad that we continued to get in touch. It was heart-warming when we contacted her on Skype and showed Chiara (when she was still a baby) to her.

We visited her in Ireland early this year and she didn't change a bit! In spite being afflicted with cancer, she showed courage, patience, and grace.  Before leaving, I told her to stay strong, ending with the words "Samaniego ka 'ata!" (I discovered early on that her mom's middle name was Samaniego. Although my maternal grandfather and his brood were from Cavite, they once told us that we are related to those in Bulacan having the same family name).

It is truly sad to know that she is gone now, but felt consoled that she left us all happy - happy to be reunited with Pam (who also graduated from college this year), happy to be wed to Paul who loved her unconditionally, happy to have served the Lord through the sick and through the church choir.

It wasn't only the church or any other building for that matter that was filled with her life. More importantly, it was God's People, the Church!

Thank you, Ate Liza for the love and concern you showered us.  Rest now where there is no more pain, only consolation; where there is no more sorrow, only happiness; where there is no more worry, only peace; where there is no more sunset nor sunshine, only perpetual light shining on you! We love you!

More Pressing Issue

I read with interest an article published in March 2010 issue of the Far East (a magazine of the Columban Missionaries I subscribe to) entitled “What Would You Do?” which featured Chinese Christians’ creativity given the political and religious challenges experienced in their country. Let me mention three out of eight various cases featured.

One example was about a young Catholic mother who was pregnant for the second time. Because China implements ‘one child policy’, the mother is faced with three options: abortion, bribing a sterile woman to say that she is the baby’s mother, or move to Hong Kong. She opted for the last one. The child’s future is secured by having a Hong Kong identity card.

“Not much of a difficulty”, you might say. Well, here’s another one.

There was a young priest serving a community of ‘unofficial’ Catholics (Chinese government has broken ties with the Vatican which resulted in the division of the local Church. ‘Official’ Catholics are those sanctioned by the government and do not recognize the Pope’s authority. ‘Unofficial’ Catholics remain loyal to Rome and have therefore gone underground.). He got a scholarship to study in a neighboring country, but still requires a passport. To obtain one, he has to answer various questions including his profession. If he says he is a priest he will not be allowed to leave. If he states a different job he needs to prove it. He decided to bribe the officials. Catholics refused to lend him as this would mean condoning corruption. However he managed to find the money. He thinks that he has a valid reason for doing this as his aim was “…to better serve the Church”.

“A priest, bribing? That’s impossible! That’s against our faith!” you would complain. Alright, read on.

A bishop was asked by his visitors from Western countries if he will give cash donations to the victims of an earthquake that rocked a province in 2008. He said no, but added that he gave a huge amount of money to the officials. His explanation: “Because one does not the right to short-circuit the authorities in charge!” He added that if he didn’t give money to these officials (whom he accepted to be corrupt), the development of his diocese (e.g. planning permissions) would be doomed. He concedes that “one gives and gives.”

I’m hearing you shouting: “Now you’re talking about a bishop resigned to the existence of evil instead of fighting against it!”

The writer of the article cautions readers not to be easily led into criticizing our Chinese brothers and sisters in the faith. “For many Catholics in China the only way to survive is to be resourceful.”

As we celebrate the Solemnity of St Joseph, Patron of the Universal Church, let us keep in our prayers the Church in China that its members would continue to keep that faith alive. Let us also take this occasion as an opportunity to thank the Lord for the gift of faith and for the privilege of professing it without any fear whatsoever. Let this feast also be a time for us all to work together for the Church. Indeed, the problems besetting Catholics in China is one issue that the Church, especially the hierarchy has to deal with. A pressing issue that needs more attention than this new English translation of the Roman Missal!