Tito Dick

Tito Dick was one of my uncles who provided a father figure to me when I was growing up. One of the earliest memories of him was when he visited me in the hospital. I think I was 5-6 years old then. As I lie in bed, he checked how I was doing. Towards the end of our conversation, he gave me some money to buy some fruits para lumakas ka (so you can be strong).

When my cousins and I used to study in Angelicum, he and Ninang Deedee would meet us outside of their house and check on us. He reminded me to tell him if other students would bully me in school. Wala silang panama sa muscles ko (They don't have a match with my muscles.), he would quip and make a show of his biceps.

In summer of 1985, my brother Gio and I as well as cousin Tony lived in Tito Dick's house. Ninang Deedee cooked him some food and brought it to their room. A few minutes later, he called his sons Manong Rio and Mio as well as Gio, Tony, and I. To our surprise, he hand fed us!

One time, I went to his office to speak to his secretary. He called me to show and try a pair of shoes that was given to him. When it fit, he was delighted and gave it to me - a very appropriate gift as the next day was my birthday.

Such gestures made me at ease when I was growing up. It made me feel that someone was on my side at all times.  As my siblings and I grew up, he and Ninang Deedee became one of our takbuhan (recourse). Without them, I would not been able to study and obtain my degree in university. 

In the last few months before he passed away, I often sent him messages and he would respond with the words Thank you, Ingat (Take care), God bless you and your family. The father figure he provided when I was little was still there through and through. I am very grateful to have reconnected with him, especially during his last few months. In spite of his illness, he was there to make time for me.

Tito Dick, many, many, many thanks for being like a father to me and my siblings. The many moments you checked on me, the times you advised, motivated, challenged, or reprimanded me, the occasions when we had a laugh or two, the thoughtfulness you have shown are forever cherished in my heart. As we remember the first anniversary of your passing, may we continue your legacy of being present for our loved ones; to nurture them so that we could bring the best out of them; and to be always grateful for and share God's blessings with others. We love you!

Happy World

I was nervous the first time I met Papa Eling when I visited Nidz in her brother's home in Gagalangin, Tondo. (I guess this would be a general feeling among men when they see their girlfriend's father the first time.) Nidz was not at home at that time. I introduced myself to him. I could not remember what we talked about, but my nervousness vanished - Papa was such a cool, unassuming guy. I learned to know more about Papa through the years of courtship, marriage, and family life that Nidz and I shared together.

During my first visit to Sibuyan Island, Romblon in 2005, I witnessed how hard working Papa was. A man of few words, he was an early riser. After a hearty breakfast, he was off to the fields. One time, Nidz brought me to the farm where Papa and other relatives were busy. As I marvelled at the verdant landscape, Papa asked me, "Ibig mo ba?" (Would you like to have a look?). I wanted to, but we had to go to another place. 

After dinner, he would play his banjo while singing some kundiman songs (traditional Filipino love songs). I recognized and sung some of them too! During our last visit to him last year, in spite of being bedridden, he got out of his bed to see us, and belt out some songs to the amazement of his grandchildren!

In the years that I have known him, I could not recall him swear at or bad-mouth another person. He was a warm friend, a loving father to those who encounter him. He was highly regarded by the people. 

Papa Eling's name - Felix - means happy or blessed. On the other hand, his surname - Orbe - means world. The warmth and love he showered on those around him, the faithfulness he demonstrated as a husband and father, the devotion he displayed as a grandfather, the diligence he showed as a farmer, the unconditional trust he had in God - these qualities and more - have made a difference on the lives he touched. 

In his unique way, Papa Eling has given us a happy, blessed world.

Papa Eling, as we remember your first death anniversary, I would like to thank you for welcoming me into your family. Thank you for being such a loving father-in-law. May we always listen to the lessons you taught us. May we always follow your good examples. Doing so, we can make this world a truly blessed place to live in. May God rest your happy soul. We love you!

Public Property

Who says that only politicians and showbiz personalities are public properties? I like to think that parents too are public properties.  It becomes evident when our kids (or grand kids, if you have one) pick up what they see us say or do. 

Being fond of classical and traditional Filipino music, I would listen to either of these while driving or at home.  Chiara, who would often hear these, has shown some interest too. I once watched on YouTube Nyoy Volante impersonating Sylvia La Torre in “Your Face Sounds Familiar”, a contest organised by ABS-CBN. Nyoy was singing “Sa Kabukiran” to the glee of my unica hija. She was more delighted when she listened to Sylvia’s own rendition of that famous song (and more).

There is a feeling of satisfaction when she picks up something positive. Conversely, there is disappointment when it’s something negative that she imitates.

One wintry evening, as I was about to fetch Nidz from work, our old car won’t start. Annoyed, I swore three times. Suddenly, Chiara repeated what I said. I felt remorseful after that event. Ditto those moments such as when she asked me  while I was parking somewhere , “Daddy what is that?” and I could not respond because the sign says “No parking”.  I recall what Tita Lilia Reyes would often say “Ipakita mo na sa matanda, huwag lang sa bata”. 

Because our kids ‘own’ us, it comes as a daily challenge to be their role model, to nurture them in a responsible and Christian way. Gone are the days of buhay binata.  These are the times of sharing, of putting the house in order.

I have been involved lately  in a project collecting 100 anecdotes in honor of my Lola Piling  Valdes-Albano whose 100^th birth anniversary is celebrated this year. A few anecdotes that I came across mentioned the Sacred Heart of Jesus to whom Lola was devoted to. She once advised the Apostleship of Prayer members in Gagalangin to say “Sacred Heart of Jesus, I place all my trust in Thee” 33 times (in honor of the number of years the Lord stayed on earth). As the project is due to conclude tomorrow, I felt a rediscovery of this devotion particularly that beautiful prayer. Entrusting everything – my vocation, family, work, etc. – to the Lord’s Sacred Heart is key to become a nurturing father, a good role model.  

To all fathers out there, here’s wishing us all a Happy Father’s Day this Sunday!  May our hearts be like that of Jesus so that our children and others who look up to us may find life and have it to the full (cf. John 10:10).

***

As I write this, I cannot fail to remember Lolo Paul Albano, whose 104^th birth anniversary is commemorated today. One afternoon, many summers ago, as I was playing in their bedroom, I saw him apply something like a roll-on stick on his hair and combed it.  When he left I mimicked my grandfather, however I struggled to comb my hair as smoothly as he did his! The maid has to wash my hair to get rid of Lolo’s pomade! The sticky pomade is all gone, but my Lolo’s memory, his religiosity, devotion to family and service to the community continue to thrive in my veins. Thank you, Lolo Paul! Happy birthday po!

Hairy Issues

Many years ago, we went to the airport to fetch our grandmother who was returning from a trip to the States. As we waited, my aunt told me "There's your Lola (Grandmother)!". I stood up in front of a woman I hardly recognized. She wasn't the Lola I knew of. Her white hair prevented me from recognizing her.   My younger brother had a different reaction. Once she asked my mother if she would also grow old like Lola. My mother gave the affirmative to which my brother cried!

Later on, I have seen my Lola's white hair in her children - my Dad and his siblings.  

(Lola Piling and her sons. Seated: Lola Piling; Standing L-R: Mario (Papa), Ireneo, Laurentino, Paulino Jr., and Alejandro Albano)

When I started to have white hair, an aunt told me "Welcome to the club!".  White hair can sometimes be nasty because,  and I noticed this, they grow faster than the dark one. My wife would cut or pluck them out before, but she seemed to have given up when more and more of them appeared. (I've seen some white hair too in my moustache, nose, and beard!)

If my father's side of the family is known to have white (and thick) hair, my mother's side has (male) members with thinning hair.  

(Samaniego siblings. Seated L-R: Aida (Mama), Aida Samaniego (Mama's sister-in-law; my aunt and godmother), Lilia Samaniego-Reyes; Standing L-R: Edgardo, Luisito, Augusto Jr., and Rustico Samaniego)

Looking at my head, I have the 'best' of both families!

White or thinning hair, both tell us of the reality of ageing.  The Good Book says "White hair is a crown of honor obtained by righteous living." (Proverbs 16:31).  It's nearly Father's Day. I must admit that I am not a perfect father, but at each waking moment, at each time I hear my daughter's voice, my heart leaps for joy. I am grateful to be a father. As I age, I hope and pray that I will grow as a wise and holy father (and husband). That I'll be worthy of that 'crown of honor'.

Happy Father's Day to all dads!

Be My Love, Be My Salvation

The Solemnity of the Sacred Heart of Jesus tomorrow and the Memorial of the Immaculate Heart of Mary on Saturday, brings to mind a prayer that my grandparents would usually utter: Sweet Heart of Jesus, be my love. Sweet Heart of Mary, be my salvation. Very short prayer, but full of meaning, depth, and inspiration.

Msgr Mario Enriquez, in his homily during the feast of the Sacred Heart in Gagalangin many years ago, said that we are not devoted to the physical heart of our Lord, but to the love which Jesus' heart symbolizes.  Indeed, if we honor and venerate His physical heart only, our devotion will miss the whole point why that physical heart was pierced by a lance on the first Good Friday - out of love for us. 

It was said that the first followers of Jesus were known not because of their religious practices or customs, but by their love for each other.  Lest we forget, this love is rooted in and animated by Jesus.  A kind of love that is selfless. It has been 2,000 years or so and that small community has grown enormously across the world.  Are our communities still known for the love which our ancestors in faith have had for each other?  Is charity still found at our homes?  Are we still motivated by love to do good? Yes or (more importantly) no, let's daily ask our Lord: Sweet Heart of Jesus, be my love.

Because of that selfless love that Jesus has, we have all been saved.  And yet, each day of our lives here on earth is a challenge to be saved.  Because of our fallen nature, we sometimes forget how we have been loved and so we commit mistakes.  We become ungrateful for what Jesus has done for us.

I remember Bro Jun Ignao, a former colleague in the Basic Christian Community in Barangay Poblacion (Kawit, Cavite), who once told us that if God would destroy the whole world, everyone would perish except Mary.  Having been conceived without any stain of sin, Mary is truly God's favored daughter.  Her heart has always been united with the heart of her son.  Therefore, if we wish to rise up from our sins and be counted among those saved at the end of time, if we wish to gain eternal life, if we desire to be with God forever in heaven, let us always call on our mother: Sweet Heart of Mary, be my salvation.

Let me be clear though that salvation doesn't come from Mary per se.  Salvation only comes from Jesus, our Savior. By way of analogy, if the moon merely reflects the light that comes from the sun, so is Mary imparting salvation that comes from Jesus.

United with the Hearts of Jesus and Mary, may our journey in life be filled with love so that we and our other fellow pilgrims can find salvation at our destination. As it will soon be Father's Day, please pray for us fathers that we may always put on the love of Jesus so we can truly lead our families to salvation.

Sweet Heart of Jesus, be my love. Sweet Heart of Mary, be my salvation.

Maligayang pista po!

Things I've Learned From Papa

When I became a father, I tried to open that treasure chest of fond memories, memories of when I was a child being looked after by my parents, my father in particular.

My father was of the strict-type of guy as you might have come across a previous article. One of things that he taught us was to be respectful of others. Take for example when someone in the house is still asleep. He told us to be quiet so as not to disturb others. One morning, I was with a little sister in our parents’ bedroom – Papa was still asleep. I opened a drawer and closed it quickly when suddenly my sister cried – one of her fingers got trapped in the drawer! As a result, I got a slap from my already roused up father. Indeed, “Magbiro ka na sa lasing, huwag lang sa bagong gising”. (Better to crack a joke to someone who’s drunk than to someone half-awake.)

That incident, painful as it may be, made me realise what respect is all about: being mindful of others (asleep or not) and treat them accordingly.

As a dad myself, I make it a point not to disturb Chiara when she is asleep. When she was a few weeks old, a faint noise could wake her up; sometimes it’s hard to put her back to sleep.

As a husband, it is also a challenge for me not to provoke my wife’s anger. I must admit that I sometimes fail by letting my own anger get the better of me.

Another lesson that I learned from Papa was to remain humble in spite of one’s achievements. It was almost summer of 1982 when he made a surprise visit to my school and spoke with my teacher. I thought he would have gone after that meeting, but waited for me and drove me home – we used to have a school service transport. As he was driving, he expressed elation at my achievements in school and was anticipating my progression to the next year’s grade. Whilst driving, he kept on repeating to me that I will be Grade 3 student soon. Towards the end of this seemingly unending praise came a warning: “Huwag ka lang magiging mayabang.” (Just don’t be boastful of your achievements.)

Someone once told me how proud Chiara would have me to be her Dad. I replied to my friend that I am actually humbled that God has chosen me to be Chiara’s father.

If we hear of princes or princesses becoming kings or queens at their tender age, I became the man of the house at age 8 when Papa left for greener pastures in the States. He told me to look after my younger siblings and my mother. Symbolically, I sat at the head of the dining table until I moved to the UK. At that age, I tried to understand the responsibility that was entrusted to me. I’m glad that Mama, my grandparents, uncles and aunts were all there to support me.

I must admit that at times I was reluctant to act, sometimes failed to act, and still at some times overact or over react. I just fall down on my knees to ask for Divine Guidance to remain faithful in doing what needs to be done.

Happy Fathers’ Day, Papa! Thank you for inculcating respect, humility, and responsibility in my then young mind. Rest assured that I will pass them on my daughter. God bless you!

May God, the source of all fatherhood, bless all fathers this Sunday and always!

Our Center and Rest

The image of the Sacred Heart of Jesus has adorned most if not all Catholic Filipino homes. When Nidz and I tied the knot one of the wedding gifts we received was a statue of the Sacred Heart of Our Lord which I brought to the UK when I migrated here six years ago. It is now hung foyer welcoming anyone who enters and bids adieu (and blesses) those who would leave.

At the start of the day, as I make my way to the kitchen (which is next to the stairs), I bow down before it, expressing my thanks to the Lord for another day and offering myself for His glory and the good of others. As I switch the lights off at night, I bow down once again before that image thanking God for guiding me throughout the day and asking to send His angels to watch over us as we sleep.

When we were kids, there’s this image of the Sacred Heart in our living room. One evening, as we were all in the living room, we heard a noise and a cry – Nicola (a younger sister) was tumbling down from the stairs. She was 1 or 2 years old then. My dad was furious to find out that we didn’t look after her and punished me and my other brother Gio (being the older siblings) by kneeling in front of the image for God knows how long!

The Lord’s heart has been a symbol of His love for us. Yet it also invites us to make God the center or core (from the Latin cor = heart) of our lives.

Most Sacred Heart of Jesus, may You be the center of our lives, of our homes, of our country, of our Church, and of our world. Amen.

***

When thinking of the Sacred Heart (whose feast will be celebrated this 19th June), I couldn’t fail to recall St Augustine who once said (to the Lord) “Our heart is restless until it rests on you”.

This saying brought me to another ‘dimension’ when I became a father. During Chiara’s first few days and weeks she was the ‘cuddly’ type of baby. You couldn’t put her on the crib for long. I could find myself ‘locked up’ carrying her while she sleeps. But I’m happy that she is at peace in either her Mom’s or Dad’s arms.


As a father I find that a blessing to be entrusted with a child. It is challenging. You have to be on your toes 24/7. It is a restless endeavour. Yet looking at how this beautiful baby entrusts herself to her parents and, as a result, be at peace I realized how much I needed God, how much I should seek Him so I too could find that rest.

The 21st of June will be my first Fathers’ Day. Looking back in the previous 9 months, I have stumbled on many occasions and sometimes felt depressed for not being a good father. Yet each day, as I bow before the Sacred Heart of Jesus, my scared and scarred heart is assured of His love, His presence, His grace. May He also touch the hearts of all dads this Fathers’ Day and always.

Happy Fathers’ Day, compadres!

***

Belated 20th foundation anniversary to the Apostleship of Prayer - Youth of the St Joseph de Gagalangin Parish on the 2nd of June. May the Sacred Heart of Jesus continue to animate you in your service to God's people.