When the Eucharist Excluded No One

Pope Francis continues to inspire people with his down-to-earth approach of 'feeding the sheep and tending the lambs'.His emphasis on mercy rather than on doctrines and rites is turning the Church upside down. Who couldn't forget how he washed the feet of 12 prisoners - male and female, Catholic and non-Catholic - in a youth prison during the first year of his pontificate? Who wouldn't take to heart his now famous quote "Who am I to judge?", when asked about his views on homosexuals? And who wouldn't recall his reaching out to victims of clerical sexual abuse and other evils? 

Way back in February of this year, the Holy Father invited Cardinal Walter Kasper, President Emeritus of the Pontifical Council for Promoting Christian Unity, to speak before the College of Cardinals. In his address, Cardinal Kasper put forward the idea of allowing divorced or civilly remarried (without annulment of their first marriage) Catholics to receive Holy Communion. According to Church teaching, Catholics who remarry without having their first marriage annulled may not receive Holy Communion unless they abstain from sexual relations.

Going fast forward, this 5th of October the Extraordinary Synod of Bishops on the family will be convened. It hasn't opened yet, but a handful of Cardinal Kasper's confreres have been criticizing his idea, to the point of publishing books reasserting Church teaching. Word has it that the Pope got irritated with this.  

I read with interest Fr Peter Day's blog entitled "The Eucharist is not a prize for the perfect, Cardinal Pell" (http://www.thetablet.co.uk/blogs/1/439/the-eucharist-is-not-a-prize-for-the-perfect-cardinal-pell). In his blog he put to task Cardinal George Pell, former Archbishop of Sydney and now Prefect of the Secretariat for the Economy, for being a hardliner.  What I find striking was when he asked this prince of the Church - his fellow Australian- what was in the mind of Jesus when He instituted the Eucharist; whose hunger it was that our Lord was responding to (in giving His body and blood as food and drink); and the need to be compelled to reach out to outsiders (in this case, those who are banned from receiving Communion because they remarried without seeking annulment of their first failed marriage). Fr Day wrote "Cardinal, can any of us look our Lord and Master in the eye and say: “Yes, I am a follower; but you must understand there are rules …”?"

It is lamentable to think that there are pari-seos (priests with Pharisaic mindset; I coined this name from the word pariseo or Pharisee, but hyphenated it to stress the word pari or priest) in the Church, the Church founded by Christ who criticized the Pharisees of His time. Pari-seos who would go by the book, whose one-track mind disregards the pleas of those who suffer, whose rigidity prevents fresh air and light from entering the Church.  

I believe in the indissolubility of marriage, but I am also aware that some marriages do fail. To exclude people in this sad situation from receiving Jesus in Holy Communion isn't healthy, isn't Christian at all! Don't get me wrong: I am not condoning couples cohabiting without the blessing of marriage. I do realize though that this situation does happen for various reasons. To close the doors on these brothers and sisters of ours would potentially make them no longer go to church or if they do, they wouldn't care what others say and just receive Communion. Either of these will not be good examples for children, isn't it? To close the doors on these people is to effectively push them to live in sin!

Christ is asking for mercy not sacrifice (Mt 9:13). And that "the Sabbath was made for man and not man for the Sabbath" (Mk 2:27). Unless our Church leaders move out of their comfort zones, our Church will just be a hollow institution of rules and rituals, a mausoleum in the making.  Only recently, Pope Francis presided over the wedding of 20 couples at St Peter's - with one bride already a mother, some couples had been living together, and other had previous marriages. If we take this as Papa Francesco's hints on how he would like to reintegrate individuals (and families) from failed marriages, then this is something to be welcomed. I hope his brother bishops, especially the likes of Cardinal Pell, would see eye-to-eye with him. The extraordinary synod next month is an opportunity for the Pope, bishops, and other stakeholders to transform the image of the Church into a vibrant community of believers where everyone is welcome, just as Jesus would have wanted it.

This coming Sunday, let's join the rest of the Church across the world in praying for the synod by saying this prayer written by Pope Francis:

Jesus, Mary and Joseph,

in you we contemplate

the splendour of true love,

to you we turn with trust.

Holy Family of Nazareth,

grant that our families too

may be places of communion and prayer,

authentic schools of the Gospel

and small domestic Churches.

Holy Family of Nazareth,

may families never again 

experience violence, rejection and division:

may all who have been hurt or scandalized

find ready comfort and healing.

Holy Family of Nazareth,

may the approaching Synod of Bishops

make us once more mindful 

of the sacredness and inviolability of the family,

and its beauty in God’s plan.

Jesus, Mary and Joseph,

graciously hear our prayer.

Amen.

Three Secrets

A colleague once asked me what's my secret to a fruitful marriage.  My response: a stout heart, a broad mind, and an unrelenting patience.

Before I continue, let me just point out that I am not an expert in marriage. I am still a learner in this journey.

Stout heart.  I guess everyone in a relationship would agree that when you love, there are no ifs or buts. And because we're called to love for a lifetime, our hearts should make more room for love. Otherwise, love won't grow and be responsive as seasons change. Furthermore, and this is especially true for marriage, you ought to love what your beloved loves such as her family. I remember an old man calling his nephew's attention when the latter referred to a lady as his wife's mother. The uncle asked, "Shouldn't you call her your mother-in-law instead?".  You also need to make more room as you progress from spouse to spouse and parent (and later on as a grandparent).

Broad mind.  There are moments when you don't see eye to eye with your partner.  There would also be times when trials might cause a strain in your relationship.  There may also be moments when one's words or actions would be misinterpreted. Sometimes, it's very easy to be sensitive or repulsive to these. Try your best  to understand, to find the 'right excuse' why they may have said this or done that.  Instead of jumping to often unfair conclusion, be more capable of seeing the good intentions behind such actions.We should be more understanding. Didn't Jesus ask His Father's forgiveness for His persecutors because "they know not what they are doing"?

Unrelenting patience.   Individually, we have our own capabilities and methodologies.  Sadly, when we encounter other's weaknesses or failures to deliver what we expect of them, we flare up, we speak unkindly of the other person.  In one of my confessions, I told a priest how I sometimes lose my patience. For my penance, he asked me to devote a few minutes before the Lord in the Blessed Sacrament reflecting on how Jesus patiently carried His cross in spite of the jeers of people. St Paul, in his letter to the Corinthians (13:4), reminds us that "Love is patient".

A stout heart, a broad mind, and an unrelenting patience: grant me these Lord today and always.

Marriage Creed

April 2 this year would have been the 73rd Wedding Anniversary of my paternal grandparents. During their 40th anniversary in 1978, they have published a Mass booklet which contained their Marriage Creed. Whether you are married, getting married or considering marriage I hope you’ll find this inspiring.

P – Preserve your mutual respect…for your respective needs and rights. Remember that each is a person of flesh and blood, entitled to his or her own choices and mistakes. Each owns himself, and has the right to equality.

A – Accept each other as you are. Every individual has his own share of good as well as weak points. No one has the monopoly of good qualities.

U – Utilize every opportunity to strengthen your union. Let no one nor anything come between you and your life partner. Not friend, not money, not your business. Your union is “until death do us part.”

L- Love each other as much as you can. Love is your eternal source of renewing and revitalizing yourselves. Love makes everything bearable, pleasant, enjoyable. Love is manifested in your mutual thoughtfulness, your mutual trust, your mutual care and concern for the needs of each other.

I – Imbue each other with the sense of belonging. You are not mere friends; you are life partners, not looking into each other’s eyes, but rather looking together ahead, remembering that your married life is a stepping stone, a ladder to achieve your ultimate end: your eternal union with God.

N – Never take each other for granted. He/she is entitled to his/her own opinion, or views. Listen to each other – with understanding, patience, open mind. And hear not only words, but also the tone, mood and expression. Learn to listen to understand rather than listening to argue.

O – Openness is the key to understanding and trust. Avoid being secretive, and you’ll avoid creating any suspicion and doubt which can start the erosion of your union. Trust and reveal yourselves to each other, even as the budding rose opens to reveal its fragrance and beauty.

P – Patience is the key to harmony and success in marriage, even as anger, animosity, resentment can wreck the intimate relationship of the couple.

I – Initiate activities that will promote family solidarity and cheerfulness, but at the same time get involved in the activities that promote the welfare of the community and the parish to which you belong. You will find your lives more rewarding and more satisfying if you share with others, especially the less fortunate good things that you have in life.

L – Live your lives the way the candle burns for others to enjoy and benefit from its life. The self-centered person is the most unhappy person, while the person who is generous knows how to share what he himself has received, is the happiest person.

A – Above all, marriage is a vocation, a calling for you to be able to achieve your highest goal – union with God. Marriage is not an end; it is a means to the most glorious, most challenging end – life with God.

R – Responsibility is the sole factor in making your marriage happy, successful, productive, even as irresponsibility, the neglect, the lack of concern, or immaturity can be the damaging factor of an otherwise happy marriage.