Led by the Children

(Some of the children who received their first Reconciliation [L-R]: Chiara, Megan, Reyna, and Mia)

A few weeks back, I was in church along with Chiara to join in their school's celebration of the Sacrament of Reconciliation. Chiara and other students/children parishioners will be receiving their first Holy Communion in May and so the parish and school organised this event where the children would make their first confession.  

During the meeting in preparation for this activity, the parish priest told us that we could accompany our children while they make their confession. Of course this was something new, not only for me but for other parents. In a way, it felt awkward.  On the day, the children were given the option of just being alone with the priest or being with their parents in front of the priest (Confession was face-to-face!).  If I am not mistaken, all children went to the priest on their own. When all kids were finished, the headteacher encouraged parents to avail of the sacrament.

Watching my child confidently approach the priest and make her first confession, I felt called to make my own confession. I approached Fr Anthony, the same priest who heard Chiara's confession.  As I sat next to him, he chuckled "I guess this is not your first confession." We both laughed briefly. After confessing to him, he asked me what is my favourite Bible verses. I told him "The Lord is my shepherd, there is nothing I shall want". He  told me to take time to read and reflect on that. He also reminded me how God doesn't get tired of forgiving us.

Most of the time, we parents take the driver's seat. And yet, there are moments when we give that seat to someone else for them to take the lead. It happened on that memorable day in church when the children made me realize that God is our merciful Father who eagerly awaits our return. Sometimes, we adults tend to make excuses when it comes to going to confession. Excuses such as "The priest is only a human being like us. I can confess directly to God, can't I?"or "I am not prepared." come to mind.  For me, let's have an open mind about this sacrament. Christ instituted this for us, so why not accept it? Think of that thief dying on the cross. Surely he wasn't prepared for that encounter with Jesus. Touched by Christ's presence, he begged for forgiveness.  And forgiveness was granted him! Wouldn't Christ, through his priests, forgive us too when we receive this sacrament?

I hope and pray that these children will value their relationship with God and that they remain simple and humble so that they would continuously avail of this often forgotten sacrament; so that they would lead others to do the same.

I felt blessed to be in Chiara's first Reconciliation. I didn't only witness my daughter receiving God's forgiveness. She inspired me to receive it as well - a perfect opportunity this Lent! 

Rosary with Chiara

In observance of Rosary month, we have been reciting the Rosary at home. On certain evenings, we join our Rosary Group's recitation in selected homes.

There have been certain nights that it's only me and Chiara saying the Rosary as Nidz is on night duty.  While praying the Rosary with my daughter, I have to briefly explain to her each of the mysteries.  I try my best to be creative when saying the mysteries. For example, instead of just saying "The first Sorrowful Mystery is the Agony in the Garden", I say "The first Sorrowful Mystery, Jesus agonized in the Garden".  Listening to stories on how Jesus was born, or died on the cross, or rose from the dead she would express surprise, shock, or wonder. She would constantly ask "Why?". Rather than be irked at her curiosity, I would patiently and enthusiastically explain the mystery to her.  Having this conversation with my daughter made me rediscover my faith.  It brought me back to the time that I was a child again, of being taught how to say this beautiful devotion and being introduced to its various mysteries. 

As the little girl was gradually introduced to the devotion, she got keen to be the leader, saying a number of prayers such as the Our Father, Hail Mary, and Glory.  At the close of the Rosary, we sing Salve Regina.  I am pleased that she can already sing this song in spite of her tender age (I learned to sing it at 11/12 years old!). She may not yet utter some of the lyrics and prayers properly, but with guidance and encouragement she will be able to do it well soon.

For me, it is good to pray the Rosary with a child. I cannot rush saying the Hail Marys. I am yanked out of my comfort zone to pause and think. By doing so, I can relate with the mysteries. I can relate with God. 

Holy Week For Kids

A few Fridays ago, I went to make a short visit to the Blessed Sacrament at the St Barnabas Cathedral during my lunch break. Usually, the Rosary is recited at that time. But because it was a Friday (in Lent), the children from neighboring St Joseph's Primary School would be leading the Stations of the Cross. These young children - 5 or 6 of them - were accompanied by two teachers who were guiding them in saying the prayer. I could barely understand what they were saying, yet my eyes(and even my ears)were glued at them.

In their very tender age, they were being introduced to what in real life was gruesome and hard to accept: the suffering and death of Jesus. I am touched by how these kids would say their prayers - full of faith and confidence in the One who is faithful. For me, they were not only leading us older people in reflecting the 14 stations. They were giving us a fresh outlook in life, a life that is worth dying for as far as Jesus is concerned.

As I left the church, I thought to myself it would really be good if children were tapped in the many activities of Lent and especially Holy Week.

Indeed, if we have a look at major events in Holy Week we could see that during Palm Sunday, children come to the fore waving their palms and singing Hossana to Christ the King. At the very end of this blessed week, we once again see kids involved in the Salubong (only in the Philippines)or Easter egg hunt. Perhaps it would be a good idea if we have kids acting as apostles during the Washing of the Feet (In Gagalangin, many, many years ago the late Msgr Pedro Pajarillo tapped young boys to be the apostles for Holy Week!)or reading the Lord's Passion. True enough, some Passion plays (i.e. Senakulo)in the Philippines are performed by the youth.

As I was thinking of this, I had the chance of reading "Holy Week Is For Children", an article by Peter Rehwaldt(a pastor in the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America)in praytellblog. Peter wrote: "What the church does together in its liturgical assembly during Holy Week is almost by definition much more accessible to children than what the church does on, say, the umpteenth Sunday in ordinary time. What the church does during Holy Week, when one boils it down, is simple. In our words and our actions, our songs and our prayers, we tell the story of Jesus’ death and resurrection. And we tell the story in such a way that children easily find their place within it."

He cited several stories which kids could relate with. An example is Jesus' triumphant entry into Jerusalem on Palm Sunday and then in a few days being reviled by the same people who welcomed Him. This story reminds kids of instances when kids in school who are looked up as heroes today end up being goats tomorrow.

Or Jesus' betrayal which is similar to kids dropping their old pals in exchange to be part of a "better" bunch of students.

Peter wrote that "Holy Week is made for children, who grapple with defeat and failure and brokenness all the time...who long for this grand, sweeping unconditional love...who long not for an explanation of God’s love but for an experience of that love."

Let us therefore encourage our kids to take an active part in the life of the community and of the family this Holy Week. I am saying this because, as a child, my elders exposed me to the various events making up the Semana Santa: pabasa, Way of the Cross, Mass, adoration of the Blessed Sacrament, procession, etc. That experience developed my knowledge and love for Christ. Eventually, I was inspired to serve Him.

And because we older people, regardless of age, are also God's kids let us not be bashful when there is opportunity for us to help out in the parish this week. Setting ourselves as good role models, our actions would be a strong encouragement for the young.

Christ once said "Let the children come to me" (Mk 10:14). Can we say no to such an invitation?

Fast Learners

Little kids can really be fast learners. Every time I tell Chiara that we are going to watch something on TV, she would walk briskly to the living room and as soon as I enter, she would close the door. She got used to us shutting the door especially during the previous months to conserve the heat from the radiator.

There are still some other things that we her parents do which she could quickly mimic, including words we say. There are two words which she has remarkably uttered to a high degree of clarity: “Daddy” and “No”. The former she learnt much from her Mom (Nidz and I decided to call each other “Mommy” and “Daddy” to teach Chiara what she could call us.); the latter she learnt – in spite of my denials – from me.

At times, she would keep on calling “Daddy” even if I were away from home. One weekend, when I was the one looking after her, she called for me, but I ignore it having been busy with something. Sensing that she was ignored, she cried! It’s music to the ears to be called “Daddy”. The opposite is true when she says “No” especially when you want her to sleep, finish her food, or keep quiet.

That’s why as much as possible I try to tell her the effects of her actions (e.g. "You might fall if you climb the stairs.") Yet sometimes, and most especially when you urgently have to call her attention, I couldn’t help but blurt out “No!”

At this early a stage in a child’s life, the word “No” seems not acceptable for us parents. We tend to be in control and when the child under our care shows resistance (i.e. says “No”); she will have to face the consequences (e.g. punishments). I just wonder what would it be when Chiara grows older? I cannot tell the future, but I could make a lasting imprint on it for my daughter. By being discreet in the words I say (Not just “No”, but the “F”, “S”, and “P” words too.) and the deeds I do.

As a Tagalog saying goes “Ipakita mo na sa matanda, huwag lang sa bata.”

***

A few years ago, when the issue of some priests' failing their vow of celibacy came under fire, the late Msgr Nico Bautista told his interviewer that what inspires him to remain faithful to his vocation was his father. To me it came as a surprise, but it just shows how parenting, the family, the home could all form us as persons. If we become good persons, then the society, the Church, the country, and the world would become good.

It is unfortunate that I won't be able to vote in the Philippine elections in May, but I would strongly urge voters to check very well the candidates they would elect. Here's some useful criteria:

1. Is he/she a faithful and conscientious spouse/parent?
2. Does he/she treat the household helpers (e.g. maids, laundrywoman, driver, etc) with kindness and respect?

If your answers are "Yes", then go for that candidate!