A New Opportunity to Serve

When it was first offered to me, I declined it. I felt it wasn’t for me. I was already comfortable in one role and would not want to have another. I just feel unconfident and unworthy.

Something suddenly flashed back. During the first few months I started serving my parish in Manila, I was scandalized by the behaviour of some of the elder male parishioners and for a while did not receive Holy Communion from them. I softened my stance not only because it was unfair for the rest of their good colleagues, but it was also impractical to queue on the priest when there are half a dozen able to give you the Body of Christ. Besides, there is considerable distance between the choir stall and the priest. (The tussle between me and some of these old men became dormant for a while, but erupted anew on several occasions – I’ll discuss this in another issue.)

One of the Extraordinary Ministers of Holy Communion that I admire was the late Santos Nepomuceno. Tatay Santos as we would call him was an unassuming man. We would ask for his hand for blessing which he generously give. He had this disposition as though I am receiving Communion from a holy man so much so that I kneel when I take the Lord’s Body from Tatay’s hands whenever we both would serve at Mass – him as Extraordinary Minister while I as commentator.

When I moved to the Manila Cathedral in 1998, I was warmly welcomed by the collectors and the extraordinary ministers. Their groups were so intact. They eat breakfast together at the Cathedral dining hall, most of the time the priests. They didn’t let me feel alone (During those times, the lectors/commentators group wasn’t as organised as it is now. At times, there is only one who will do the lector and commentator bits. The likes of Bro. Joe (RIP), Mang Ramon, and Ka Tino will forever be treasured in my heart.

Migrating to the UK, I volunteered to be a Mass reader, continuing what I have started in the Philippines. Three years later, Fr. Paul Newman who was our parish priest then invited me to be an extraordinary minister as he needs people to assist him at Mass and distribute Communion to the sick and housebound. I told him I’ll think about it. I decided to decline the offer.

Back to the present now! Fr. Gerry Murphy succeeded Fr. Paul. I’m still doing the readings from time to time. Suddenly, a letter inviting me to be an extraordinary minister arrived at our home. Its words were persuasive. As though the typed words were not enough, the words “Do say Yes!” were hand-written. I told myself I don’t want to decline this time. In spite of that I had some concerns. Will I be able to fulfil this role if my wife is at work and I’ll have to look after Chiara? How will I manage? I might be more of a liability than an asset to the community!
I confided to a friend my situation and he told me that if the Lord is calling me to serve then I should go for it. I contacted Fr. Gerry to say “Yes” to his invite at the same time told him my concerns. There were two training evenings. I wasn’t able to make it on one of them so they arranged another one for those who were unable to attend.

On the two evening sessions I attended, I noticed that Fr. Gerry read the story of the Roman centurion’s faith in Jesus. The words we say at Mass “Lord, I am not worthy….” were inspiring. People shared how they felt unworthy to be part of this ministry. For me that unworthiness does not only stem from being sinful, but also being fearful of not being able to perform well in this ministry and of not being able to explore other ministries in the parish that are undermanned. I’m glad that during our sharing sessions, most if not all of us trainees have the same concerns – there was a father who like me can sometimes struggle to participate attentively in the Mass because of an active toddler under my care, there was a mother who sometimes works on weekends, etc.

After our sharing, we made our way to the church passing through the Poor Clares Monastery Chapel for some practicals on how we will be distributing Communion (either holding the bread or the chalice). In the chapel (as well as in the meeting room where we have just been) there was a huge image of Our Lady carrying the Infant Jesus. Beneath the image were the words “My mother, my confidence”. This attracted me a lot and before exiting the chapel, I helped myself to a stampita with a replica of the same image and a leaflet on its devotion.

At the end of our practicals, we rehearsed for our commissioning which will take place this weekend. Will I or will I not?

My concerns and fears are still there. They won’t go away like magic. Nevertheless, I humbly accept this new opportunity for me to serve the Lord and His people. In a way I am excited to bring Jesus to everyone especially to the sick, if I am allowed to soon. I know it’s Jesus calling me to this ministry. I believe He will see me through it. I place my trust in Him. And like Him, I confide too in His Mother and mine.

Please say a prayer for me.